Monday, August 29, 2011

Top 10 Signs That You Are Baby Crazed

The premise of my career as a blogger is the baby craze.  It's the time in one's life when the rush of weddings has passed and all minds turn to babies.  Or, from my experience, the time in life when female minds turn to babies and male minds hone their dodge and weave tactics. 

How can you be sure that you've crossed into The Baby Craze?  I'll tell you...

1.  You casually exchange the word "sex" for the phrase "baby makin' time".
2.  You purchase random and deeply discounted baby products (though you don't have a baby).  In doing so, you don't think, "Wow, I'm officially a crazy, crazy hoarder and I belong on TLC."  No, you don't.  You DO think, "Wow, I'd be a crazy, crazy idiot not to take advantage of this deal given how many baby showers are in my near future...including, possibly, maybe my own."
3.  Every time you see a baby, even one of those tantrum-throwing, ear-piercing, nose-filled-with-boogers, smelly ones, you give an audible "Awwwwww!"
4.  You refuse to take vacation because it makes more sense to save up your vacation time...for when the baby is eventually conceived and ultimately born.   
5.  Admittedly, prenatal vitamins would be premature given that you're not actually trying to get pregnant.  But adding some Flintstones gummy vitamins to your daily routine is totally different. 
6.  You keep and add to a list of restaurants that are baby/child-friendly.
7.  You skip an invitation to see the latest romantic comedy at the theatre because you're into rewatching your favorite childhood movies from the comfort of your couch.
8.  Regardless of what's hot in the fashion world, you find yourself drawn to empire waist tops and shift dresses. 
9.  One out of every four conversations in which you actively participate involves baby names.
10.  You're not "there" yet, but you secretly are.

What other telltale signs can you think of?  How can you identify a baby crazed person?  Why do you know that you're baby crazed?


Lia Capri said...

I currently own 2 special baby girl dresses purchased with my future baby girl in mind. One I bought in Italy after my wedding in 2010 and the other in Buenos Aires. And yet I do not feel baby crazed.

Leah (it's me) said...

Lia - I have no doubt your mini-me will be very well dressed...OR...that you're destined to have all boys :)

Alma Brit said...

All of us go through that baby-craze at some point of time in our lives.

It's just so much fun bringing up kids. I remember one time when me and my girlfriends had very long discussions about baby-names that really got to nowhere!

That was the time when I finally knew that I was ready to be a mom.

Leah (it's me) said...

Alma - Baby name talk is one of my favorite pastimes. It's so fun. I love that being baby crazed is a universal (for the most part) female experience.

Anonymous said...

Ok, number one on the list is awesome. My fiance totally calls it that now. I don't. However, I am taking more vacations to rack up frequent flyer miles so my future kid can fly for free! (Also, Lia, really? Not baby crazed...I think number 10 applies to you. It's ok, I get it.) :-)