Hospital Bag Thoughts

This post was inspired by a recent group email between my best gal pals. One of my dearest friends is expecting her first in a couple weeks...or days...WOW time flies, and my mom friends (myself included) were offering some words of wisdom. Specifically, we were giving her advice on what to pack in her hospital bag. It was a fun exchange and got me thinking about what I might pack differently for round two.

When pregnant with my first, the hospital bag was a huge topic of interest for me. I'm very surprised that I haven't previously written about it. When it came to educating myself on the actual delivery, my efforts were mediocre. When it came to researching what items I needed with me during the delivery, my efforts were over the top. The fact that I actually researched this issue says a lot (about my sanity). It's sort of a common sense issue. But, I'm a bad packer. Really bad. Sometimes I pack too much. Sometimes I pack too little. I usually forget two essential items - like a toothbrush and underwear. I'm not kidding. So, knowing myself, I decided that I would figure out the whole breathing and pushing thing on the fly, but I needed advanced preparation in the hospital bag department.

Based on my experience and the advice given during this recent group email, here's a pretty solid list of what to include in your hospital bag:

• Clothes - Two post delivery outfits and one going home outfit. You will still be wearing maternity clothes and you won't be feeling awesome, so don't bring skinny jeans and stilettos. Think pajamas and comfies. 
• Hair elastics or headbands
• Slippers and a Robe - I didn't bring slippers and suffered with hospital socks and I loved having a lightweight cotton robe for my few trips down the cold hall.
• Flip Flops - You're going to be using a hospital shower that is thoroughly cleaned and disinfected on a regular basis. But, so was the shower in your college dorm. And, the blood...well...just consider bringing some cheap flip flops.
• Toiletries - Whatever you would bring on any weekend getaway (hair brush, toothbrush, etc.), minus the glamour stuff (curling iron, eyelash extensions, etc.).
• Pillow - I brought two. My husband and I were overwhelmingly happy to have them. Hospital pillows leave much to be desired.
• Camera - This falls into one of my regrets. I didn't bring my Nikon SLR to the hospital. Instead, I brought my barely working snap and shoot digital. The thought process was that my Nikon is big and expensive and not worth managing during the chaos. Boo. Wrong choice. Yeah, I have pics from the hospital, but I so wish I had more and better pics.
• Notepad and pen - There are things you'll want to write down. You can make note of which gift came from which visitor and the amazing piece of advice the night shift nurse gave you about breastfeeding and what you want on your sandwich now that you're allowed to eat and you're allowed to eat cold cuts.
• Outfit for the baby - Your little one will have hospital provided attire for his/her stay, but needs an outfit for the ride home. Think about the season. How many layers? Blanket? Hat?
• Baby Mittens - They start scratching right away and their nails are impossible to cut/file in the beginning, so these will come in handy immediately.
• Snacks - While you won't be allowed to eat during your delivery (probably), sometimes you're allowed "clear" candy (think: Jolly Ranchers). Also bring a piece of fruit or your favorite granola bar for afterwards. I was starving post delivery and my only food option was pizza, which wasn't a bad one, but I would have enjoyed something more wholesome.
• Phone and Camera Charger - Not an ideal time to run out of battery.

The one thing I remember bringing and not "using" was champagne. At my baby shower, I was gifted a mini bottle of champagne for the in-hospital celebration. When the time came, I had zero taste for alcohol and I was beginning my breastfeeding journey...I didn't want to start off on that foot. Another general consideration is not to bring your favorites when it comes to clothes. Things can get pretty messy and you may end up throwing out the underwear and pants that you bring.

There are no words to describe the excitement and intensity and awe of those first 48 hours. Nothing you bring (or forget to bring) will change that. So, bring a hospital bag but don't over think it.

What Should You Register For (That You Actually Need) Part 2

Last week I gave you Part 1 of my sample registry with the idea being to include only things that a first time parent actually needs (not wants, not might use once). I covered the categories of furniture, sleeping, gear and diapering. Today, I'm covering feeding, bathing and health & safety.

FEEDING

• Nursing Pillow - Nursing pillows are useful whether breastfeeding or not. They make feeding time comfortable for you and for the baby. And some nursing pillows (like the Boppy) are also great for tummy time and learning to sit.
• Burp Clothes/Cloth Diapers (12+) - Some babies spit up more than others, but all babies dribble and gurgle and drool at least a little. Burp clothes handle the clean up and they can also be used as wipes (for those against disposable wipes) and as tissues (they're softer on those tiny noses).
• Bibs (2+) - Why do you need burp clothes and bibs? The burp cloth protects your outfit and the bib protects the baby's outfit. Don't register for a dozen bibs because you'll undoubtedly receive many "non-registry" bibs that say things like "If you think I'm handsome you should see my uncle" or "Grandma's Little Angel". Remember, the tackier the phrase, the less you'll care when it's covered in cheesy spit up.
• Bottles (2+) - How many bottles you need depends on whether you intend to breastfeed and for how long. Don't register for a set of Dr. Brown's because that's what everyone does. Really consider your plan and know that these are not high cost or rare items, so you can always pick up more bottles after the baby arrives.
• Bottle Brush - It's damn near impossible to properly clean the inside of a bottle without one.
• High chair - You don't need this (or the next two items) right away, but you do need it.
• Spoons (2+)
• Sippy Cups (2+) 

If You're Breastfeeding...

• Breast Pump
• Breastmilk Storage - A combination of plastic/glass/metal containers and plastic bags is a good idea until you know what works best for you.
• Nursing Pads - You can go with disposable pads or reusable pads (check Etsy for makers of reusable pads).
• Nipple Cream

TIP: Nursing pillows are easy to borrow. Most people only use them for the first 6 months or so. Rather than register for the pillow, just register for an extra cover (Boppy and Breast Friend nursing pillows both sell extra covers separately) and use it with your borrowed pillow.

I love this sippy cup, if you want to go stainless steal.
(image source)

BATHING

• Bathtub - Trying to hold or dip your baby in water sounds uncomfortable and really dangerous. So, yes, I think this is a necessity.
• Baby Wash - This is an all-in-one shampoo and soap that won't sting eyes and is extra sensitive on that delicate skin.

TIP: Hooded towels, baby washcloths and Aquaphor are not necessities, but they're really useful and also make things easier because they're sized and designed for mini people.

Baby wash in a pump container (like Little Twig) is so convenient.
You can get a cheap pump container from Target and fill it with your favorite brand.
(image source)

HEALTH & SAFETY

• Ointment (2) - There are so many options out there. A+D, Desitin, Balmex, Butt Paste (that's not a joke) name a few. Register for one or two different (standard size) kinds and see what jives with your little one before you go economy.
• Comb and Brush - A lot of babies are hairless at birth. But, if yours happens to have a full coif, you'll be grateful for these.
• Nail Clipper - Research this product well because cutting baby nails is really hard and you don't need a product that's going to make it harder. (Tip: nail files are the way to go once the baby's nails are strong enough and you can use your standard nail file, no special baby nail file needed)
• Nasal Aspirator - You'll get one from the hospital, so (technically) it's not a necessity. But, it's nice to have two (one for the nose, one for the mouth or just an extra when one is dirty).
• Thermometer - If you already have a standard digital thermometer at home, then you're all set. You will stick that under your baby's armpit to get your read. Some people prefer rectal thermometers because they're more accurate. It's your call. It's personal. It's between you, your baby's tush and the thermometer.
• Outlet covers - This and the next 2 items are needed for the mobile months (and years).
• Cabinet locks
• Gate

TIP: Monitors aren't a necessity in that you and your baby will be okay without one. BUT, I strongly recommend one. Having a visual monitor (not just an audio monitor), let's you make a more educated decision about whether you are actually needed in the nursery. Without the extra bit of info that a visual monitor provides, you're bound to go into the nursery when you're not actually needed. This means that you'll be getting out of bed for no reason (boo) and by entering the nursery you risk waking up your baby, who might be just tossing and turning (double boo). Visual monitors help everyone in the house sleep better.

The Nose Frida (aka the snot sucker) is a favorite of many moms. The idea is gross, but it really works.
(image source)

If you're wondering about the best place to register for all these great products, here are links to a few old posts to help with that (here, here and here). And HERE is a post about where I chose to register.

A Helping Hand From the Start

Mothers help their children.  They start helping from conception and keep helping...forever.  That's the ideal, of course.

This timeless and instinctive behavior, to nurture one's child, has taken intense (and arguably extreme) forms in modern times.  We all remember the recent TIME magazine article about attachment parenting.  And even if you don't remember the article, you most certainly remember the cover photo...

from May 21, 2012

And if that imagine doesn't jog anything, google the words "TIME magazine breastfeeding", then google the words "attachment parenting".  You'll be caught up in no time.

As I did in my response post to the TIME Magazine article, I'll again reiterate that I don't support or not support attachment parenting.  I do, however, think it exemplifies a hands on approach to parenting.  Say (or think) what you want about attachment parenting, you can't successfully argue that parents who subscribe to its tenets are laissez faire about child rearing.  Quite the opposite, it's an active, considered, and deliberate way of parenting.

Many women start parenting during pregnancy.  This is done with diet, exercise, meditation and other life style choices.  Eating certain foods allegedly prepares the unborn child's developing palate (more on that here).  There's labor preparation through prenatal yoga and labor preparation through childbirth classes.  Some mothers-to-be talk, read and sing to their unborn baby in a specific way so as to communicate in utero.

With all the parenting methods used before the baby arrives and after the baby arrives, it's no surprise that a way to parent during the baby's arrival has emerged.  In comes the mother assisted Cesarean section.  Who knows what I'm talking about?  I know at least one of you does (because one of you emailed me about this topic, thanks again!).  A mother assisted c-section is when the mother pulls the baby out of her uterus all by herself.  Why leave the delivery to the doctors when you can get your own mitts in there?  And by "in there" I mean inside your abdominal cavity.

When I first heard about mother assisted c-sections, my mind immediately went to that episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians when Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to Mason.  Kourtney K. didn't have a c-section, but she did pull Mason out of her own cookie (cookie = vagina).  If you have more respectable taste in television than I, watch this clip below to see it all unfold (the action is around minute 4):

I remember being slightly freaked out and slightly impressed when Kourtney grabbed Mason and literally yanked him out of her.  I also remember wondering whether it was planned or spontaneous.  I'd wager on the latter only because who could plan that and effectively execute it?  With a mother assisted c-section, there is a specific plan for the mother to yank her baby out.  Or so I've read (here).  In the context of being an active participant in your child's life, I sort of get it.  In the context of being an active participant in your own surgery, I'm not a huge fan...but maybe that's because I'm squeamish and not a doctor.

Thoughts?

It's Time to Talk About the TIME Cover

As my good friend WW would say, Get Serious.  It's time, once again, to talk about extended breastfeeding thanks to the latest edition of TIME magazine.  Last Thursday, the new TIME came out and all the media outlets were (and still are) buzzing about the cover photo.  Within hours of the cover's public release, I was receiving emails, text messages, Facebook wall posts and carrier pigeon mail suggesting that I discuss the cover on NSB.  It was hysterical and greatly appreciated.  Sometimes my creative juices simply don't flow, so I genuinely love post suggestions.  And, like in this case, when suggestions for a single topic come in droves, it also helps me understand what's hot.

And here's the close up...

While I don't particularly enjoy writing about extended breastfeeding (remember my twitter fight on the subject?), I'm willing to share my non-expert opinion when the moment strikes.  So, once again, let's get serious.

I first saw the above image on Morning Joe, my weekly a.m. ritual.  My first reaction was "woah" accompanied by a need to flip the channel (I'm being honest here, not intending to offend).  My first full thought, which was admittedly super cynical, is that the mom on the cover is in amazing shape and I wondered whether her motivation for extended breastfeeding is the weight loss benefits.  For those who don't know, breastfeeding burns calories.  I'm talking hundreds of calories.  There's a Sex in the City episode in which Miranda's co-worker breastfeeds her 5-year-old because she doesn't want to get back into a gym routine.

I haven't read the TIME article, but I have read a lot of the support and backlash that it has received.  And there's a lot on both ends.  First, I think that the majority (from both sides of the fence) found the cover image to be shocking, if not exploitive.  I also think most agree that was the point - get people talking.  So, well done TIME, mission accomplished.  I have no doubt that magazine sales sky rocketed for this month.

Next, do I have anything useful to say about the substance of the article?  Hmmm.  Not really because, again, I didn't read it.  But I'm going to attempt an opinion anyway.  The premise of the article is that extended breastfeeding is part of Attachment Parenting.  I had never heard the term "attachment parenting" so I'm going to assume that some of you haven't either and define it as best I can.  Attachment Parenting is a parenting style that aims to foster a relationship between a child and a primary caregiver so that normal social and emotional development can occur (thanks Wikipedia).  To me, this sounds like a run-of-the-mill parenting skill - bond with your child.  I dug deeper and learned that attachment parenting encourages a number of specific ways in which the parent/child relationship should be fostered, one of which includes extended breastfeeding.

I'm not sure how you feel after reading the above paragraph, but it didn't get me any closer to feeling comfortable with the TIME cover.  It did, however, help me to think of extended breastfeeding as a parenting style, just like forms of discipline and rules about picking your nose.  And when it comes to parenting styles, there are infinite theories and experts (many of which conflict).  So, in my non-expert and highly humble opinion, the lesson to be learned here is to each her own.  Each parent can (and should) choose a style that works best for the parent and for the child.  Maybe the style will be guided by the tenets of Attachment Parenting or maybe the style will be guided by something else (i.e. gut instinct, Oprah, etc.). 

It's like this: New Yorkers love to talk about how to get around.  There's a constant comparison of this highway to that thruway - she takes the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, he takes the FDR, I always avoid the Major Deegan.  Everyone thinks their route is the best, but who really knows.  At the end of the day, there are many ways to get from Brooklyn to the Bronx.  And there are many ways to raise a socially and emotionally normal child.