A Baby Named Valentine

I've never met anyone named Valentine.  I've never even heard of someone named Valentine for that matter.  It's a bit surprising that some celebrity couple hasn't jumped on it.  You have the cute nickname of Val.  It means strong and healthy.  And, of course, it conjures up notions of love and chocolate.  Valentine Affleck totally works.  I bet Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale would have done it if they had (or were having) a girl.  

To those of us named Valentine (no one that I know) and to those of us not named Valentine (everyone that I know) - I hope that today brings you the kind of love that exists at the Heathrow arrival gates.  Have a fantastic Valentine's Day.

Pickles and Ice Cream

The minute I revealed that there was bun in my oven, people started asking about my cravings.  Friends, family and strangers alike all wanted to know what foods I suddenly and absolutely needed.  It's one of the most talked about symptoms of pregnancy - food cravings.  It's some sort of phenomenon that pregnant women have cravings for foods that they have never craved before (or even liked before).  And, better yet, pregnant women crave unique combinations of food.

Remember Lady and the Tramp?  Of course you do.  It's aptly described on IMDB as the "romantic tale of a sheltered uptown Cocker Spaniel dog and a streetwise downtown mutt".

This is from 1955, seriously.

Do you remember the scene when the voice of the pregnant wife asks the husband to go out in the blizzard to get her some watermelon and chop suey?  That is how most people imagine pregnancy cravings.  Watermelon and chop suey.  Or, the classic, pickles and ice cream.  I was constantly asked whether I craved pickles or ice cream or the combination.  Much like Snooki, I happen to love pickles, and much like everyone, I happen to love ice cream.  So, my answer was always "Yes, I have been craving both pickles and ice cream...as much as I did before my pregnancy, which was a lot."

What I find especially interesting about the association between pregnancy and food cravings is that it's a farce.  Sort of.  I didn't have cravings when pregnant, not really.  There was never a moment when I absolutely needed a particular food.  There was never a moment when I demanded my husband run to the corner store for pickles or ice cream or anything else.  Most of my mom friends report the same.

This is a real maternity clothing store, check it out here.

I did, however, find myself eating a lot of tomato soup.  I'm a bagged lunch type of lady, yet I would randomly find myself in line at Hale and Hearty, waiting to pay for a cup of Tomato Basil with Rice soup.  Sometimes once a week.  But, I'm not sure I considered this a craving because I didn't suddenly and urgently need tomato soup at 2 a.m. one morning, I just sort of ate it often.  That and apple juice, but I think the apple juice was more about consuming something that was easy on my stomach and energy producing.

Has anyone ever actually craved pickles and ice cream while pregnant?  Has anyone (pregnant or not) ever tried pickles and ice cream together?  I wonder if it would be surprisingly good with the sweet and salty combo?  I do love chocolate covered pretzels.

What did you crave when you were pregnant?  

You Wanna Name Your Kid What?!!!

Choosing a baby name is truly the first act of parenting.  Well, for those that sit on the birth certificate for a few days unable to decide, maybe not.  Even so, it's at least one of the first acts of parenting. 

It's a choice that has become slightly more complicated over the years.  A hundred years ago the pool of commonly used names was relatively small and parents were, generally, less creative in their choice.  Nowadays, there are many, many, many commonly used names and parents are inspired to make unique choices.  Why the change?  My guess it twofold.  First, the world is becoming smaller thanks to travel and technology, so we're sharing and comparing naming ideas like never before.  Second, being unique is a modern and highly coveted characteristic.  We want to be unique (by choosing a rare name) and we want our children to be unique (by being named something less common).

I'm a modern lady and a fan of interesting names.  I like names that make me pause and consider, like Jessica Simpson's Maxwell and Alicia Silverstone's Bear.  But, once in a while, even I can be thrown by a name choice and find myself feeling judgy.

Who felt judgy watching this video?

Last week I was checking out Nameberry.com as I often do and noticed the following "Names Searched Right Now": Whizdom and Tequila.  I probably don't need to explain why I felt judgy toward both of these names, but I will anyway. 

Part of my problem with Whizdom is that I can't stand unnecessarily strange spellings of commonly use names (and words).  Especially if you're choosing a rare name, go with the least rare spelling.  That's my 2 cents.  Of course my other problem with Whizdom is that, regardless of the spelling, it's a self-important.  Typically, I love names that are nouns (i.e. Violet, Hunter).  But I also hate braggers (more on that here).  Choosing a name like Wisdom...or Whizdom...forces the child to live up to the parent's ego or suffer trying.  

Next up, Tequila.  Tequila happens to be my favorite alcohol, but I don't appreciate it as a name.  I wouldn't appreciate a child named Bourbon or Rum or Vodka either.  Whiskey might be a cool name for a rockstar, but you can't really plan for these things at birth.  I just think it would be hard to take someone seriously if she introduced herself as Tequila.  "Hi, I'm Tequila Smith, your daughter's 3rd grade teacher."  Hmmm...

Reasonable minds may certainly differ.  I don't doubt that some people think Whizdom and Tequila are fantastic names.  I bet there's someone out there that thinks alcoholic beverage baby names should be the next big trend.  So, maybe it's all just a matter of opinion.  Or is it?  Are there any names that are just universally wrong?

What Not To Expect

Who's going to see What To Expect When You're Expecting?  I'm tapping out.  Not interested.  First, I'm not a huge fan of the book.  Granted, I've never read the book, but friend reviews suggest that it's encyclopedia-like and fear-inducing.  I'm not into encyclopedias nor fear.  Second, those ensemble cast movies don't do it for me.  Valentine's Day was horrific.  Even Bradley Cooper couldn't save it.  I didn't bother to see New Year's Eve for the same reason I'm boycotting What to Expect, but I heard it was equally terrible.  There is one exception to this rule and that's Love Actually, my favorite movie of all time (that and The Cutting Edge and Clue: The Movie make up my top 3).

Bottom line, it's not my cup of tea.  But, by all means, check it out and let me know how it goes.  I imagine that it will do quite well in the theaters and satisfy many movie goers.  Plus, I've been wrong about a movie once or twice (you've probably already questioned my cinematic taste after learning my top 3 list).

The reason I mention What to Expect is not merely to bash pregnancy education and big budget film.  I bring it up because I was highly disturbed by a billboard that I saw for it over the weekend.  I was taking the subway (of course).  As I exited the train car, I was confronted by a huge, life-sized image of a pregnant Cameron Diaz glowing from across the subway platform.  It wasn't actually glowing, but those damn subway billboard are so big and shiny that it might as well have been.  It was Hollywood perfection with a slight exception, someone had scrawled the following across Cameron's perfectly taut, round belly:

Die Breeder Scum 

Woah, right?  I so wish I had taken a photograph to share.  I'm used to a scribbled mustache or a classic profanity, but this was a whole different form of graffiti.  It was hysterical.  Highly disturbing and hysterical. 

Turns out there's someone else out there who will also be boycotting What to Expect, just for very different reason.   

Two Women, One Drink

If after reading the title of this post you now think I have a disturbing sense of humor, you're right.  I couldn't help myself.  The title is a play on the title of a highly disgusting youtube video that went viral about 5 years ago.  I'm not going to post a link to the video.  I'm not even going to reveal the true name of the video because I don't want "Stuff People Google" to take an ultra nasty turn in the next few weeks.  But, if you know what I'm talking about feel free to leave a comment about it.  I dare you.

Enough of that.

Drinking alcohol while trying to conceive is something I've touched upon in the past (here).  One can  completely lay off the sauce, carry on as usual or opt for something in between.  It's a personal choice and when it comes to making the choice, reasonable minds differ.  Two women may treat one drink (of alcohol) very different - see how I awkwardly circled back to the title?

image here

In recent times, I've found myself among several woman, all friends, who've made different choices when it comes to drinking alcohol while trying to get pregnant.  It was, unfortunately, awkward.  Everyone was upfront about pregnancy wishes and everyone was upfront about their personal choices when it came to alcohol consumption.  The awkwardness came from the non-upfront judgment that passed between the differing perspectives.

The Drinkers - These ladies thought it the non-drinkers were high strung and generally lame.  They were slightly annoyed that the non-drinkers had decided to take such an extreme measure.  What's the big deal with a single glass of wine?  It's not like the non-drinkers were actually pregnant.  Or...maybe they were actually pregnant, which is why they had drawn such a hard line...hmmm....

The Non-Drinkers - These ladies thought the drinkers were irresponsible and immature.  They were slightly concerned that the drinkers had decided to take such a cavalier stance on such an important issue.      A single glass of wine could be a single glass of wine too much.  It's impossible to know the moment that trying to get pregnant turns into being pregnant.

Of course I don't know exactly what the two sides were thinking because no one said anything out loud.  But, I think I've imagined a likely back and forth.  Just because reasonable minds may differ, doesn't mean reasonable minds don't judge each other differences.  Judging is human nature.  It's entirely unavoidable.  So I'm not going to suggest that you not judge because that wouldn't work.  But, maybe consider the other side because there is another side.

  

Happy Leap Day

Happy Leap Day everyone.  The mystical February 29th is once again upon us. 

For most of us today is just an extra day in February that doesn't much affect our day-to-day lives.  But, for a rare few, it's a VERY special day.  Those few include Ja Rule and Antonio Sabato Jr.  What could these two characters possibly have in common?  Today, February 29, is their birthday.

Being born on leap day can cut both ways.  On the positive side, when your actual birthday rolls around it is far more special than the average once-a-year-birthday.  On the negative side, in the non-leap years you're forced to choose a date other than your birthday to celebrate.  There's probably something a bit lackluster about celebrating your February 29th birthday on February 28 or March 1.

I wonder if more women schedule c-sections for February 29 than the average day?  Or is it a day to avoid?  And now for some Ja Rule...

I Did A Stupid Thing

NSB is kicking off the new year with a 

new guest blogger - Lia Capri.  She's a friend and a baby crazed confidant (on some days).  I'm delighted to share her relatable, witty perspective on deciding the right time to start a family.

Disclaimer: this post contains some graphic descriptions which  may make you question (further question?) your desire to procreate.  

First, a bit of background.  I've been with my husband for nearly 7 years, married for 2.  We are in love and quickly (too quickly) approaching 30.  We both love kids and want to have a family someday (maybe someday soon).  BUT none of our friends have had children and we've found one reason after another to put off trying.  "You can't be pregnant at Brian's wedding", "it would be a sin not to drink on our trip to Vegas", "let's wait to see if that transfer comes through with your job" and so the story goes.

But as the new year approaches (post written on December 30, 2011), I think of the greatest potential milestone I (we) could reach in 2012, a precious addition to our family (I'm speaking of a baby of course, not a pet or car).  And so I realize the excuses are no longer compelling and babymaking season is upon me.  Then, with curiosity and blissful ignorance of what is before me, I did a simple search on You Tube: Childbirth.

Pretty accurate portrayal of my expression watching the youtube videos

Oh the horror!  I will spare you the details of what I witnessed in the first video I watched (yes, this masochist watched more than one!) but I'll just say that there was a lot of blood, scissors, a very large infant head, and way too much butthole.  Fortunately the sound was not on in this video, which may have spared me additional trauma.

Now, excuse me while I reserve bottle service at the club in Vegas!

By Lia Capri

A Whole Nother Meaning for Crimson Wave

Let's head back to 1995 and reminisce about Clueless.  The word timeless comes to mind.  We were introduced to Suck and Blow and plaid blazers.  We learned that "the valley" was a bad, bad place.  And, though we knew it was more than just inappropriate, we rooted for step-siblings to get their french kiss on.  It was one of the best movies of the year and it is one of the most quotable movies of all time...if you were a teen female in 1995.   Being that I fit into that category, one of my favorite Clueless quotes is when Cher (Alicia Silverstone) says "I was surfing the crimson wave.  I had to haul ass to the ladies'."

Here's the trailer.  CLASSIC.

At first I didn't understand what "crimson wave" meant.  When a savvy friend explained that it was akin to "time of the month" and "monthly gift" (lame), I immediately added it to my repertoire.  Why say "I got my period" when you can say "I'm surfing the crimson wave"?

Years and years...and years...later, I've coined an alternative meaning for "surfing the crimson wave": getting drunk on red wine when you find out you're not pregnant.  I'll start from the top.  Trying to get pregnant is quite involved, and I don't just mean the sex part.  There's also the no alcohol part.  I think most of us know that alcohol is a bit of a no-no when pregnant, especially in the first trimester.  But one doesn't usually know the instant she becomes pregnant, which can lead to having an innocent dirty martini (or three) while being pregnant.  With this in mind, I have several friends who've decided to stay sober during the "trying" phase in order to eliminate the accidental drinking while pregnant scenario.

If trying isn't successful (aka you get your period), alcohol is a go...at least until you have unprotected sex again.  And so, with the crimson wave as we know it from Clueless comes the crimson wave as I've coined it - a whole hell of a lot of red wine.  My precautious friends lay off the sauce until they get their period, then wham: bring on the wine while the coast is clear! (Aka surf that crimson wave!)

While there are clear differences between Cher's version of the crimson wave and mine, both definitions could require some hauling ass to the bathroom.

Double the Baby...Double the Baby Shower Gift?

I've been on a baby shower "how to" kick lately (last week's post - Hosting a Baby Shower).  It's very now in my life.  I'm going to more baby showers then I ever have and expect even more in the future.  Hence, another post about a baby shower FAQ.  Does a baby shower for double the babies (aka twins) mean double the gift giving?

Answer - No, you aren't required to give more gifts just because the mother-to-be is pregnant with more babies (though it would help), but you may need to adjust your gift giving style.  There are two babies, so one amazing teether isn't going to suffice.  The parents-to-be are going to need two of everything, and two is more than one.  How do you handle this as the gift giving guest (gggggg....)?

• Spend more money and get more stuff - This is the obvious option that should be chosen in an ideal world where you have all the money you need and want.  Most of us have to skip straight down to any other available option.  
• Spend the same money, but buy practical products for two - Instead of buying one $40 plush snuggle blanket, buy two $20 sets of bottles.  Skip the $50 safari animal mobile and buy $50 worth of diapers.  Way back when (read: March 2011), I extended my opinion on baby showers when it comes to Practical versus Adorable gift giving - I believe in buying practical.  This belief is amplified when you have the same amount of money that must stretch further.
• Share in a joint gift - If you know anyone else going to the baby shower, see if she's interested in combining financial forces and getting a joint gift.  Bigger quantity (and more expensive) items give you greater bang for your buck.  For example: Huggies Snug & Dry Diapers Size 2, 100 count costs $24.58 ($0.2458 per diaper) and 258 count costs $51.74 ($0.2005 per diaper).  Amazon.com is awesome and shows you the cost per diaper breakdown, so you don't have to do the calculations yourself.  Bottles, onesies, and wipes also come in large quantities.

via Amazon.com

I'm also on a YouTube kick lately.  Here is a classic twin clip.  Da da da da da...

Classless Babies

I recently read a news article about an airline that has banned babies from first class flights.  All that crying is disruptive and all those baby accessories take up unavailable space.  Babies don’t make for a peaceful, comfortable environment and people who fly first class pay for just that.  I wouldn’t know because I don’t fly first class.  I do know that there is absolutely nothing peaceful or comfortable about coach.

Ever notice that first class is a class, but coach is coach?  Not coach class, just coach.  I think this somehow adds to the classless antics that occur there.

Speaking of class (and classless antics), check out the music video for Money Can’t Buy You Class by Countess LuAnn

This past weekend I found myself stuffed into a tiny plane seat in the beloved coach section.  The article popped into my head when baby screams erupted about twenty minutes into the flight.  Thankfully the mini fit wrapped up relatively quickly and I wasn’t awoken from deep airplane sleep, of which I’m capable.  It was, however, pretty annoying while it lasted, even with my high threshold for cranky babies.  It’s the craze, I find all babies (even the screaming ones) adorable. 

Another gratuitous YouTube link...so sad, so cute

Airplane travel is stressful and uncomfortable.  If you do it enough, the stress is mitigated by knowing the logistics and thus giving yourself enough time, food, water, and stored patience.  But, the discomfort remains, especially in classless coach.  The seats are narrow, the leg space is cramped, the food is gross, the air is stale, the flight attendants are bitter and drunk…no, that was just that one guy who emergency exited himself out of a plane and out of his career.  When you add a screaming baby to the list, it's an understandable tipping point for some passengers.  So, should babies be banned?

I find excessively chatty passengers pretty annoying, but I’m fairly confident they can’t be banned.  Smelly passengers are also awful, but bannable?  Probably no.  On the flip side, there are plenty of adult-only hotels and facilities.  Sandals All Inclusive Resorts ban babies and I don’t think babies are allowed in most strip clubs.  Plus, the policy only included first class – babies weren’t all together exiled, just banished to the economic section.

Again, I don’t fly first class, so it’s hard for me to step into those Gucci shoes.  But, I do understand the appeal of a babyless airplane section.  I wouldn't have minded a little less high pitched shrieking on my flight.  I wonder how I'll feel if I someday have a fussy baby and enough money for classy seating.  I also wonder how that policy will shake out when Victoria Beckham wants to bring Harper Seven into first class.  Then again, my guess is that Victoria Beckham flies in private planes where she can institute any policy she wants…

     

Is Nothing Sacred Anymore?

The short answer: No

Speaking of, anyone seen the self-portrait nudey pics of Blake Lively that made their way from her cell phone to the world wide web?  Too hot for this blog...but let me say this - I call into question (read: think she's regretful and lying about) her claim that they were photoshopped and not actually her.

via People.com
A non-naughty photo of Blake Lively, google the naughty ones yourself

What is too much when it comes to posting thoughts, photos and videos about your pregnancy and baby on the internet?  A naked pregnant belly?  Photos of mom, dad and baby in the delivery room?  Sonogram images?  I once saw a photo posted on Facebook of the mother-to-be mid ultrasound as she and the father-to-be found out the baby's gender.

Click HERE to watch any of the 1,000+ youtube videos that show
the result of a pregnancy test as the mother herself discovers it.
There is fresh pee (yes, pee) on the pregnancy test in this video.

  

I feel like a voyeur (read: creepster) when I see an especially intimate pregnancy, childbirth and baby postings of a person I barely know or don't know at all.  Yet, logically, the person was well aware that my eyes and many others would become witness to the personal experience.  Still, I can't help but feel a little awkward.  Facebook itself has felt a little awkward and shutdown some profiles and pages with breastfeeding photos that were deemed obscene.  When it comes to those that I do know, especially long distance friends, it's wonderful to see updates on their growing families.  And, admittedly, I don't mind being a bit of a creepster when it comes to some Facebook friends (not friend friends) who I wouldn't otherwise have inside scoop.

I wonder how I will feel when it's my turn - whether I will splash my bikini clad baby bump all over the internet or wait until my child heads to college.  I imagine it's a battle between wanting to keep some things private and wanting to shout your joy from the roof tops.  There's no wrong choice, which is comforting.  Unless, of course, Facebook thinks you're a big perv and removes your photo per policy.

What photos and news will/have you posted?