Summer of Andi

Juanary is long over, thankfully, and the Summer of Andi is about to begin. The first episode of Andi Dorfman's season of the Bachelorette (Season 10 if you're counting) will air next Monday, May 19th. Obviously, I'll be watching and not just because I always watch. First, Andi is pretty darn likable. She reads level headed with a bit of sass, so I'm expecting drama that doesn't involve endless weeping like some previous bachelorettes (ahem...Ashley Herbert...who's pregnant if anyone's interested). Second, Chris Harrison. When he goes rogue, which has become a regular occurrence, we get some of the best one-liners of the show.

Back to Andi. Despite her likability factor, she isn't all beauty and charisma. I was highly underwhelmed last season when she told Juan Pablo that she "puts people in jail for a living". She was referring to the fact that she's a state prosecutor. As a state prosecutor, she should know that what she does for a living is investigate criminal complaints, prosecute those complaints with sufficient evidence and seek punishment for the guilty. One could take her little statement to mean that she is disinterested in truth, innocence or justice as long as someone goes to jail. But, we'll give Andi a pass on this bonehead comment and assume she was trying to show off or that she hadn't yet had training at the District Attorney's Office and didn't actually know what she did for a living.

The highlight of Andi and Juan Pablo's relationship
(image source)

Andi's big moment, of course, was her pulling out of the competition for JP's heart and telling him, several times, that saying "it's okay" to everything in life isn't okay. I think she also called him an a**hole. This was hands down the moment she won her current title as Bachelorette and, to a certain extent, I think she milked the scene because she knew it. She could have walked away a few sentences sooner. But, I won't fault her for that because it was all so entertaining.

What you may want to know about Andi's season before it begins:

• As always, Reality Steve is spoiling the winner. He's already figured it out and posted it. For the past several seasons I've been reading his blog and, thus, spoiling the winner for myself. I'm undecided about whether I'll go that route again. It's just so tempting.
• According to Wet Paint, Andi is earning $50k for her role, which is markedly less than most prior bachelorettes.
• One of the men vying for Andi's heart, Eric Hill, was tragically killed in a paragliding accident after he filmed (he wasn't filming at the time because he didn't last long). How horrible.
• Andi has 154k followers on Twitter and I'm guessing that number will be about double by the season's end. She's a pretty active Twitterer...Tweeter...what's the word? But, she has been on Twitter hiatus due to Bachelorette filming. She'll be back in full throttle with live commentary while the episodes air.
• Andi and Nikki Ferrell (winner of Juan Pablo's season) are apparently besties because nothing says "friends forever" like deciding to marry the guy that your BFF just publicly humiliated by calling out as a self-absorbed, shallow, Dbag. I wonder where there friendship currently stands and I wonder if Nikki will show up at any point to give Andi some relationship advice. That could be highly entertaining.
• Episode one gets interesting when an uninvited guy shows up and wants to compete for Ms. Dorfman. Huh? Yes, this is strange. According to an interview with USA Today, Chris Harrison revealed that some guy with "knowledge" of where the Bachelorette is filmed and how production goes down, crashed the first cocktail party.

Nikki - "I'm gonna marry that D-bag!"
Andi - "Eeees okay!"
(image source)

The Most Dramatic Bachelor Finale Ever, Seriously

Warning: The following has absolutely nothing at all to do with babies or siblings or parenting. Nothing at all.

Monday night's Bachelor finale was some of the most uncomfortable and most amazing television I've watched in a long time. After three full hours, which ended up being two full hours if you were lucky enough to fast forward through commercials, I was left with some questions:

• What exactly did Juan Pablo say to Clare in the helicopter?
• What happened 2 weeks ago that "drastically changed" Juan Pablo and Nikki's plans? 
• Did Juan Pablo really tell the producers that he had a surprise planned for the After The Final Rose segment? What was the alleged surprise?
• On a scale of 1-10, how much did Chris Harrison want to punch Juan Pablo?
• On a scale of 1-10, how much did viewers want Chris Harrison to punch Juan Pablo?
• Why was Brooks there and what product does he use in his hair?

Look at Brooks' flowing locks. That's a nice head of hair. (image source)

Most of those questions were answered for me by Reality Steve. But, bigger questions about love, life and humanity remain unanswered for me. Perhaps the biggest question of all is why Nikki Ferrell allowed herself to be minimalized and demeaned, repeatedly. Maybe she could get over the fact that her supposed BFF, Andi Dorfman thinks Juan Pablo is total scum. Maybe she could get over the fact that Juan Pablo slept with her arch-nemesis, Clare Crawley, days before sleeping with her...and that he really enjoyed it (he made no secret of that). But, I'm having a hard time understanding how she got over his inability to say a single kind thing about her or about their relationship with the weak exceptions of "I like you a lot" and "we're happy".

Rumor has it that Juan Pablo actually loves Nikki and he's told her so and his bit on the ATFR was intended as a big "suck it" to ABC. Fine. I'll buy that. It's no mystery that ABC and their Bachelor had a significant falling out around the time that he made those awful homophobic comments. But, even if Juan Pablo's performance on Monday night was completely choreographed to be the final blow to a very salty relationship with the show's producers, it was done at Nikki's expense. He proved his point and she looked like a total fool as a result. That's not the stuff that long-lasting relationships are made of.

If you haven't seen it, there's is a YouTube video that Juan Pablo, himself, posted for Nikki. Because a montage of photos set to music makes everything better. Who knows, maybe it does. CLICK HERE to watch.

image source: Juan Pablo Galavais YouTube channel

What did you think about the finale? What would you say to Nikki Ferrell if you could (and she cared)? Will you watch Andi as the next Bachelorette?

The Bachelor Got Married (Again)

Last Sunday, Sean Lowe married the winner of his season on The Bachelor, Catherine Guidici.  If you're a fan of The Bachelor, these type of television specials are your Super Bowl equivalent.  If you aren't a fan, these type of television specials probably make you think less of humanity.

Given that I can no longer write about Pregnant in Heels and I've decided to move on from Teen Mom (now as a mother, it feels exceptionally wrong), The Bachelor is my current reality TV fix.  That's right.  I watch every Monday night as Juan Pablo works on his English and tries not to set a bad example for his 4-year-old daughter (something that he says at least a dozen times each episode).  I'm even in a Bachelor fantasy league.  Clare, Andi, Lucy and someone else are on my team.

Anyway, in addition to my weekly Bachelor fix, I upped the ante and watched Sean and Catherine get hitched last Sunday.  I didn't manage to watch the entire program in one sitting and I didn't manage to keep my eyes on the television screen 100% of the time (some moments were too awkward to take head on), but I got through it and I have a few things to say.  I'll try not to be too catty.

First a pic of the newlyweds.

Photo source: Catherine Guidici Instagram

1) How do these hairstylists to the celebrities always F it up?  I'll admit, this isn't the first Bachelor/Bachelorette wedding I've watched (and hopefully it won't be the last).  In every one I've seen, the bride's hair looks like a hot mess.  Unfortunately for Catherine, she was not the exception.

2) Catherine's theme of "grown sexy" was certainly a new one.  The commentary and comedy stemming from it is endless.  I'll make no personal judgment, but I will point you to a quick and awesome moment about said theme.  In the last scene of the special, Chris Harrison attempted to close out with a summary of the tremendous beauty and love we had all just witnessed and included the term "grown sexy".  As soon as the words came out of his mouth, former Bachelorette Ashley Hebert looks at her husband, makes a scrunchy, perplexed face and says "What does that mean?"

3) I'm pretty sure Andy Dick was in attendance.  I swear that I saw live video of him hugging other guests.  Can anyone else confirm this?

4) The credits were accompanied by a shot of the infamous honeymoon suite and sounds of trains, horses and the wild, wild jungle.  Loved it.

4) Per usual, Twitter provided some fabulous commentary: