Classless Babies

I recently read a news article about an airline that has banned babies from first class flights.  All that crying is disruptive and all those baby accessories take up unavailable space.  Babies don’t make for a peaceful, comfortable environment and people who fly first class pay for just that.  I wouldn’t know because I don’t fly first class.  I do know that there is absolutely nothing peaceful or comfortable about coach.

Ever notice that first class is a class, but coach is coach?  Not coach class, just coach.  I think this somehow adds to the classless antics that occur there.

Speaking of class (and classless antics), check out the music video for Money Can’t Buy You Class by Countess LuAnn

This past weekend I found myself stuffed into a tiny plane seat in the beloved coach section.  The article popped into my head when baby screams erupted about twenty minutes into the flight.  Thankfully the mini fit wrapped up relatively quickly and I wasn’t awoken from deep airplane sleep, of which I’m capable.  It was, however, pretty annoying while it lasted, even with my high threshold for cranky babies.  It’s the craze, I find all babies (even the screaming ones) adorable. 

Another gratuitous YouTube link...so sad, so cute

Airplane travel is stressful and uncomfortable.  If you do it enough, the stress is mitigated by knowing the logistics and thus giving yourself enough time, food, water, and stored patience.  But, the discomfort remains, especially in classless coach.  The seats are narrow, the leg space is cramped, the food is gross, the air is stale, the flight attendants are bitter and drunk…no, that was just that one guy who emergency exited himself out of a plane and out of his career.  When you add a screaming baby to the list, it's an understandable tipping point for some passengers.  So, should babies be banned?

I find excessively chatty passengers pretty annoying, but I’m fairly confident they can’t be banned.  Smelly passengers are also awful, but bannable?  Probably no.  On the flip side, there are plenty of adult-only hotels and facilities.  Sandals All Inclusive Resorts ban babies and I don’t think babies are allowed in most strip clubs.  Plus, the policy only included first class – babies weren’t all together exiled, just banished to the economic section.

Again, I don’t fly first class, so it’s hard for me to step into those Gucci shoes.  But, I do understand the appeal of a babyless airplane section.  I wouldn't have minded a little less high pitched shrieking on my flight.  I wonder how I'll feel if I someday have a fussy baby and enough money for classy seating.  I also wonder how that policy will shake out when Victoria Beckham wants to bring Harper Seven into first class.  Then again, my guess is that Victoria Beckham flies in private planes where she can institute any policy she wants…