Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Feeling Like Fergie

Stacy Ferguson (aka Fergie) (aka Fergie Ferg) is well known for many fabulous things.  She sings, she dances and she's even acted (check out her IMDB page here).  She's also known for some not so fabulous things.  She used crystal meth on the regular back in the early 90s and she once peed her pants while on stage during a concert....

I was gonna draw an arrow to 
highlight the evidence...
but it seemed unnecessary
(image here)

When one feels like Fergie that could mean many things, good and bad.  It could mean feeling embarrassed after doing something supremely humiliating.  It could mean feeling extra glamorous and ready to rock out sequin unitard.  It could also mean feeling pissed off because everyone thinks you're pregnant, but you're not.  Poor Fergie is constantly being mistaken as pregnant.  CONSTANTLY.  It's  the result of an unflattering angle, an unflattering outfit and sometimes both.  She's the subject of pregnancy speculation just as often as she's the subject of recognition for her career.

Here are some exhibits to prove my point:

Exhibit A: Fergie wears a flowing blue shirt, thinks she's pregnant

Exhibit B: Fergie is photographed leaving dinner
 (maybe too much sushi? white rice can bloat....) 
in an empire waist dress and thinks she's pregnant

Exhibit C: This is just a bad angle 
and an ugly shirt, but 
thought it was the look of pregnancy

Exhibit D: Here, called 
Fergie "thick" (how friggin cruel), 
which was a supposed sign of pregnancy

Ever mistaken someone as pregnant?  It's hurtful.  Ever been mistaken as pregnant?  It sucks.  First, it automatically brings about self image issues.  It makes you feel fat or unfashionable or both.  Second, it brings about privacy issues.  These issues are best explained through some exhibits, much like Fergie's pregnancy rumors.  

Exhibit A: Your friend calls you out for being pregnant because you're not drinking alcohol.  What she doesn't know is that you're taking medication for a medical condition that you don't want to talk about.  It's something you wanted to keep between you and your doctor.  

Exhibit B: Your friend calls you out for being pregnant because your boobs are looking particularly large.  What she doesn't know is that you're wearing a pair of chicken cutlets because you wanted to look amazing in a strapless dress for the first time in you life.  It's your best friend's wedding and you wanted some keepsake photos in which you look more shapely than a 12-year-old boy. 

Exhibit C: Your friend calls you out for being pregnant because you're constantly talking about babies.  What she doesn't know is that talking about babies doesn't mean wanting babies. 

In all of these exhibits, you have the option of evading the question (and probably perpetuating suspicion), straight up lying, or revealing embarrassing information.  Three bad choices.  So, here's my firm advice to nosy friends:  Don't be so nosy.  Be a friend and not a private investigator.  If you are truly friends with someone, she will tell you she's pregnant when she's ready.  Forcing someone to admit she's pregnant or defend her non-pregnant status isn't very friendly.

Don't make your friend feel like Fergie.


Jessica Morris said...

I love this post. I completely agree with you - ladies (and a few gentlemen), please, don't be so nosy! I've officially crossed into that weird realm of life (after 5 wonderful years of marriage) where EVERYONE assumes you are or should be getting pregnant. It makes me self conscious every time I pass up a cocktail or put on those oh-so-snug right out of the dryer jeans, knowing that every action will be scrutinized. I had a friend blurt out at a party "ARE YOU PREGNANT?!!?" in front of dozens of people because I decided to get a glass of water in-between drinks. I seriously hate it and think everyone should mind their manners a little more!

Meghan said...

I have always wondered if it hurts celebs when the media assumes they are pregnant. Regardless of if you are or not - it must make you feel like a chunker!