Monday, October 17, 2011

Top 10 Ways to Get Over Being Baby Crazy

You know how funny I find the random and sometimes disturbing search phrases that bring people to Next Stop Baby (click here for my shrine to these phrases).  Lately I've been getting a lot of "baby crazy" phrases including those below:


how to get over being baby crazy

stop baby crazy


stop baby crasy


signs he is baby crazy


I combined my love of Stuff People Google with my love of Top 10 lists in today's post.  Here are the Top 10 ways to get over being baby crazy (for at least a little):

1. Change a baby's diaper approximately 3 hours after he or she has eaten a whole bunch of carrots.

2. Immediately (NOW) stop drinking coffee (and all caffeinated drinks), stop drinking alcohol (including wine) and give yourself 6 hours of sleep each night, split into 2 chunks of 3 hours.

3.  Babysit 3-month-old twins.

4. Watch the finale (if you will) of the Miracle of Life in slow motion. 

5. Ask a friend to simulate spitting up on your shoulder.  To make it as accurate as possible the spit up content should be milk or...better yet...cream.  I just gagged a little, it's working.

6. Listen to the video below on repeat, for an hour.




7. Load a backpack with 30 pounds of books, wear said backpack as a frontpack (on your chest instead of your back) and take a ride on the subway during rush hour.  Sitting is cheating.

8. Check out the Baby Cost Calculator at BabyCenter.com, which estimates how much your baby will cost you in the first year.  If just looking at that crazy thing doesn't scare the britches off you, then go ahead and try to fill it out...

9. Grab a slice of pizza at any Chuck E. Cheese around 12:30 pm on a Saturday afternoon.

10. Click here to learn the urbandictionary.com definition of episiotomy.  Get ready to read the word poontang.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. I, too, found your site by googling "how to stop being baby crazy". I've got at least five years to go, so I figure I better snap myself out of it pronto! :)