Friday, March 18, 2011

A Mother Who Wears Glasses

I spent last Friday night on a bus to Boston.  It had been a long week at work and once the bus broke free of Manhattan gridlock, I was instantly lulled to sleep by the rhythm of its churning engine.  I woke up somewhere in Connecticut.  What was supposed to be a light nap was more like a coma and it took me a moment shake off the sleep.  I rubbed my eyes and checked for saliva at the corners of my mouth.  Thank goodness for small miracles, in the likely event that I invaded my neighbor's space at least I hadn't drooled on her.

I needed to call my ride on the other end and give an estimated time of arrival.  So, where exactly was I?  Big, green rectangles whizzed by the side of bus.  Wordless signs.  I squinted, trying to see.  Didn't help.  I squinted harder.  Still didn't help.  I dug through my oversized bag and after a frustrating 30 seconds found my glasses.  Instantly the world made sense.  I was about an hour away from Boston.

Glasses are quite new to me.  My 20/20 vision remained fully intact through my mid twenties.  Now I am absolutely dependent on glasses.  I need them.  I wear them all the time.  Yet, when I look in the mirror, I haven't adjusted to my new image.  The thick tortoise frames are foreign as they sit atop my cheeks bones.  I don't think of myself as a glasses wearer, though that's exactly what I am.

It struck me, on this bus ride to Boston, that I will be a mom who wears glasses.  My children will know me this way.  When they close their eyes or dream at night, the will see me in my glasses.  I wonder if they will see me as a nerdy mom or serious mom because I wear glasses.

As we grow older, there are so many things that change in our appearance and our character.  Who we are and how we see ourselves is constantly evolving.  I am no longer my sixteen-year-old self (thankfully) and in ten years will no longer be who I am today.  By the time I have children maybe I'll have taken to wearing contacts.  Or maybe, I will finally identify with my glasses adorned face.  Either way, I'm sufficiently confident that I could be a cool mom, even if I wear my nerdy glasses.


lia said...

Love this post! I'm just the same..I think law school did it to me but I still don't see myself as a glasses wearer.

Coll said...

Love this!! I wear my glasses all day long, all week long, yet I'm always slightly surprised when I see my reflection and I'm wearing them!