Thursday, April 5, 2012

Po-TAY-to versus Po-TAH-to

Baby craziness is so fun, when you're in it and ready to go.  When you're not in it and SO not ready to go, it's really annoying.

When a single friend is surrounded by a crop of coupled up friends, slight tensions may arise.  The single friend wants to frequent bars, guzzle red wine and mingle with co-eds.  The coupled friend wants to order take out, play Apples to Apples and be in bed at a reasonable hour.  Okay, those are extreme stereotypes, but the truth isn't far off.  Single friends are typically driven by the desire to find partners in crime.  Coupled friends are typically driven by the desire to maintain relationships with their partners in crime.  When two good friends find themselves on differing sides of this dividing line it can be a game changer.

Apples to Apples is THE best game.
You know what side of the divide I stand on...

When a friend who is NOT baby crazy is surrounded by a crop of baby crazy friends, serious tensions regularly arise.  The baby crazy friend is trying to get pregnant or already pregnant or already a parent.  Her entire life revolves around wanting a baby and/or adoring the baby she has.  The non-baby crazy friend (coupled or single) is fully content without adding a baby to the mix.  Her entire life revolves around everything but baby stuff.  Much like the single versus coupled friend, the interests of the baby crazy versus the non-baby crazy friend differ.  But, when it comes to baby crazy differences, it's not just interests that differ it's full fledged lifestyles.

Tori Spelling is definitely baby crazy.
She's pregnant with her 4th!  

With pregnancy and babies come physical limitations and non-negotiable responsibilities.  Being baby crazy is an all encompassing state of being - in part because it's exciting and in part because it's actually life changing.  It's impossible hard to consider, think about, discuss and behave in a way that doesn't revolve around a baby.  Meanwhile, for the non-baby crazed individual it's excruciating to not be able to talk about or do anything that isn't directly or indirectly affected by a baby.  

I'm not suggesting that the baby crazy and the non-baby crazy folk can't get along.  They certainly can and do.  All the time.  But, it's important to recognize these major differences and be sensitive to them.  It's not about feeling sorry for lifelong bridesmaids or hopelessly baby crazed ladies.  Rather, it's about understanding the seriousness of these differences in terms of the way they affect interests and day-to-day life.  And, it's about respecting friends accordingly, just like you would with any other difference.

You say poTAYto, I say poTAHto.  You say I'm not ready for kids, I say I've been ready for kids since I was twelve.  Let's NOT call the whole thing off.      

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