Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Pregnant Ladies on the Train

Let's start today's afternoon post with a brief discussion on the many words that are substituted for "subway" depending on where you are in North America:

New York - Train
Chicago - L
Boston - T
San Fransisco - Bart
Atlanta - Marta
Montreal - Metro

That wasn't so much a discussion, as a list.  Moving on.  This morning on the train (reference list above), I couldn't help but notice an adorably dressed pregnant woman.  I loved everything she was wearing from her heeled suede booties to her beaded hoop earrings.  I came close to asking her where she got her striped cotton shirt (because I wanted it) until I realized that it was definitely maternity gear - she was that pregnant.

As I suppressed my need to ask about each item of her clothing, I realized that my fellow train riders were doing the opposite.  Well, not the exact opposite, which would be not suppressing their need to ask about each item of her clothing.  But, where as I was sort of stalking the hot mama-to-be, everyone else was completely avoiding her.  All eyes turned intentionally away.  Why?  Because no one wanted to give up their seat for her.  They seemed to be following the old Manhattan proverb: if you don't make eye contact, it never happened.  If they could pretend that she wasn't there, then they could pretend that they weren't assholes by making her stand while they sat.

I was standing, so I had no seat to give.  Meanwhile, many seemingly able bodied New Yorkers cozied up in their plastic chairs.  None were interested in standing, not even for a very hip and very pregnant lady.  Not one.  Ms. Preggers seemed to be following a different old proverb: if you stare at something long enough, it will eventually look back.  She glared up and down the row of commuters.  No one looked back.  Realizing that her tactic was failing, she upped the ante to belly rubbing.  She pushed aside her wool trapeze coat and started rubbing that big belly.  She was rubbing and staring and rubbing and staring.  At last, the deadly combo got some middle aged guy to stand and wave her over.  She gave a fake smile (he deserved it) and sat.  I sighed with relief and returned to considering her outfit.

Moral of the Story - If you're a pregnant woman on the subway/train/L/T/Bart/Marta/metro, don't mess around with subtle gestures.  Cut right to the belly rub and make those non-pregnant train riders feel like the assholes lazy people that they are.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. If she's obviously pregnant, then stand up...unless you're obviously pregnant too.