Girl's With Boy's Names

I'm tempted to use this entire post to discuss all the tabloid/legal gossip that came out this week about Real Housewives cast members - there's just so much.

There was the sentencing of Teresa and Joe Giudice after their guilty plea to a number of financial crimes back in March. USMagazine.com has a nice little article quoting the sentencing judge who informed Teresa that because she is almost completely devoid of any morality, he couldn't bring himself to give her just probation. So he didn't. She got a year and a half and her better worse half got over three years. In prison. Federal prison. Well, orange is the new black...

Before I move on to the real topic of today's rare post, I also feel compelled to discuss Bethenny Frankel's legal shenanigans. She was told by the judge in her ongoing divorce and child custody case to stop wearing her daughter's pajamas. You may (or may not, if you're me) have missed it this summer when Bethenny posted a photo of herself wearing her four year old's pajamas on Instagram. She caught a lot of slack from fans and haters alike. Well, this week, she also caught slack from a Manhattan judge who told her, in sum, to knock it off.

I'll let you be the judge whether this is "knock it off" type behavior
Image source: Bethenny Frankel Instagram

Okay, onto today's topic: Girls who have boy's names. Specifically, Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher and Lincoln Bell Shepard.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher had a daughter a few days ago (congrats to them, if they happen to read...) and they named her Wyatt. In March 2013, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard named their daughter Lincoln. Wyatt and Lincoln. They name of two very important, very masculine figures in American History. Of course I'm referring to Wyatt Earp and the 16th President of the United States. Is this the start of a new wave of boy names making their way to the girl's side?

I admit that this "trend" has been trending since...forever. Allison was originally a boy's name. True story. People love naming their daughters Charlotte and Alexandra for the sheer joy of calling them Charlie and Alex. Elliot and Cameron have been very popular crossover names in the past decade. There's Evan and Dylan and Hayden and Rowan and Taylor. The examples are too numerous to list. So, maybe the only thing different about Lincoln and Wyatt is that they're the first of their kind and in a decade or two, they will be obvious adds to the list. Maybe Ashton Kutcher is a formerly unrecognized innovator and, at last, deserves some credit...

Thoughts? Anyone in your circle who has used a crossover/unisex name? 

Do you like the trend? Hate it?

Summer of Andi

Juanary is long over, thankfully, and the Summer of Andi is about to begin. The first episode of Andi Dorfman's season of the Bachelorette (Season 10 if you're counting) will air next Monday, May 19th. Obviously, I'll be watching and not just because I always watch. First, Andi is pretty darn likable. She reads level headed with a bit of sass, so I'm expecting drama that doesn't involve endless weeping like some previous bachelorettes (ahem...Ashley Herbert...who's pregnant if anyone's interested). Second, Chris Harrison. When he goes rogue, which has become a regular occurrence, we get some of the best one-liners of the show.

Back to Andi. Despite her likability factor, she isn't all beauty and charisma. I was highly underwhelmed last season when she told Juan Pablo that she "puts people in jail for a living". She was referring to the fact that she's a state prosecutor. As a state prosecutor, she should know that what she does for a living is investigate criminal complaints, prosecute those complaints with sufficient evidence and seek punishment for the guilty. One could take her little statement to mean that she is disinterested in truth, innocence or justice as long as someone goes to jail. But, we'll give Andi a pass on this bonehead comment and assume she was trying to show off or that she hadn't yet had training at the District Attorney's Office and didn't actually know what she did for a living.

The highlight of Andi and Juan Pablo's relationship
(image source)

Andi's big moment, of course, was her pulling out of the competition for JP's heart and telling him, several times, that saying "it's okay" to everything in life isn't okay. I think she also called him an a**hole. This was hands down the moment she won her current title as Bachelorette and, to a certain extent, I think she milked the scene because she knew it. She could have walked away a few sentences sooner. But, I won't fault her for that because it was all so entertaining.

What you may want to know about Andi's season before it begins:

• As always, Reality Steve is spoiling the winner. He's already figured it out and posted it. For the past several seasons I've been reading his blog and, thus, spoiling the winner for myself. I'm undecided about whether I'll go that route again. It's just so tempting.
• According to Wet Paint, Andi is earning $50k for her role, which is markedly less than most prior bachelorettes.
• One of the men vying for Andi's heart, Eric Hill, was tragically killed in a paragliding accident after he filmed (he wasn't filming at the time because he didn't last long). How horrible.
• Andi has 154k followers on Twitter and I'm guessing that number will be about double by the season's end. She's a pretty active Twitterer...Tweeter...what's the word? But, she has been on Twitter hiatus due to Bachelorette filming. She'll be back in full throttle with live commentary while the episodes air.
• Andi and Nikki Ferrell (winner of Juan Pablo's season) are apparently besties because nothing says "friends forever" like deciding to marry the guy that your BFF just publicly humiliated by calling out as a self-absorbed, shallow, Dbag. I wonder where there friendship currently stands and I wonder if Nikki will show up at any point to give Andi some relationship advice. That could be highly entertaining.
• Episode one gets interesting when an uninvited guy shows up and wants to compete for Ms. Dorfman. Huh? Yes, this is strange. According to an interview with USA Today, Chris Harrison revealed that some guy with "knowledge" of where the Bachelorette is filmed and how production goes down, crashed the first cocktail party.

Nikki - "I'm gonna marry that D-bag!"
Andi - "Eeees okay!"
(image source)

Lindsay Walks Out, Tori Walks In

As the saying goes - when one door closes another one opens. Well, Tori Spelling has opened the door. Or, she walked through it. Or, she is the door. Whatever, you get the idea.

I've already told you about my questionably wasteful addiction to Lindsay (the reality show on Oprah's network). Sadly, that series ended. It was 8 quick episodes and now it's over. I'm holding out hope that Oprah does a post-series interview. There's no word of that happening and after Lindsay's less than cooperative/committed/professional behavior on the series it doesn't seem likely, but one can dream.

As luck would have it, shortly after Lindsay wrapped up, True Tori began. I'm sure you've heard all about True Tori because promos are friggin' everywhere. By "everywhere" I mean all over People.com. Despite being bombarded by clip after clip after news tabloid story about it, I still hadn't decided to watch. It was on the personal recommendation of a friend (thank you, EC) that I finally jumped on board. And what a ride...

This is Dean and Tori leaving the hospital (according to E!Online).
Tori was apparently hospitalized during this whole marriage crisis.
No clue whether the show was filming at the time.
(image source)

Lindsay and Tori couldn't be more dissimilar. Lindsay spent most of her time buying exorbitantly priced coats and perching her lips and sleeping. Tori spends most of time parenting and crying and not eating. Tori is much more relatable than Lindsay, yet manages to stay interesting despite leading the camera crew on activities like dropping her kids off at school and meeting girlfriends for coffee. Of course, the reason why True Tori is so riveting is that Tori's marriage is currently a colossal disaster. Her husband, Dean McDermott, had a 2-day romp session with a Canadian chick (Emily Goodhand...yep, Goodhand...you couldn't make this stuff up) during which he showed said chick a sex tape of him and Tori. I've learned all this from the show. The Canadian chick shopped the story around to US tabloids moments after getting out of Dean's hotel bed and US Magazine made the highest bid. The story went public. Dean then checked himself into rehab for alcohol, drugs and depression and stayed there (without any face-to-face contact with Tori or their 4 kids) for 3 months. Whew. The show begins with Tori and Dean's reunion and is premised on their journey to fix (or end) their marriage.

After watching the first two episode, I have two major questions:

1) Everyone asks Tori the obvious question: How can she trust that he won't do it again? But, no one has asked the other obvious question: How can she trust that this was the first and only time?

2) Much of the show highlights how difficult it is for Tori to parent four young children, but let's be serious - there's a nanny. Or two. Tori and the Lifetime production team's attempt to hide the fact that Tori has help is glaring and annoying.

That's all I have for now. Please tell me that me (and EC) are not the only ones watching!?

Watching Lindsay

A quick shout out to Bostonians and all those who ran the Boston Marathon yesterday. What amazing athletes. What an amazing event. What an amazing city. Boston was most definitely united as one and stronger than ever.

At the moment, I'm sitting on my couch (that same Ikea couch that I referenced in a post back in January) and watching episode seven of Lindsay. If you don't know what Lindsay is congratulations for having much higher standards in television watching than I. Lindsay is a documentary series (read: reality TV) on Oprah's OWN Network about Lindsay Lohan. And it's a warmed-over, gooey, grimy mess (read: riveting).

This is Oprah and Lindsay before the series was filmed. I don't think they're so chummy anymore.
(image source)

I can't stop watching. I'm consumed by Lindsay's inability to wake up before noon, inability to go more than ten minutes without a cigarette and inability for self awareness. Complete inability for self awareness. It's an incredible show, but, arguably, a huge waste of my time. The episodes are an HOUR. A whole hour. 

I have much more productive things I could be doing for that hour. Things like the laundry, which is becoming it's own warmed-over, gooey, grimy mess. But, I let myself indulge because it keeps me level. Doing something totally unproductive and selfish makes me feel like my own person. Whether it's a jog or reading a magazine or painting my nails or watching Lindsay, it's so nice to do something just for me. I don't always get a full hour (or a full minute) but it's amazing when I do.

Of course, changing my role from mother of one to mother of two will make these daily personal moments harder to achieve. Will I be able to waste an hour on Lindsay when I have two children? My guess is no, not at first. My personal moments completely vanished when I first became a mother. But over time, as life settled into its new routine, they gradually returned. I suspect a similar fate for baby number two, which means it's a temporary and manageable loss. Especially with DVR.

How much personal time do you get as a mother of two? How long did it disappear when you first became a mother (mother of two, three...four)? How pumped were you when you realized it returned?

The Most Dramatic Bachelor Finale Ever, Seriously

Warning: The following has absolutely nothing at all to do with babies or siblings or parenting. Nothing at all.

Monday night's Bachelor finale was some of the most uncomfortable and most amazing television I've watched in a long time. After three full hours, which ended up being two full hours if you were lucky enough to fast forward through commercials, I was left with some questions:

• What exactly did Juan Pablo say to Clare in the helicopter?
• What happened 2 weeks ago that "drastically changed" Juan Pablo and Nikki's plans? 
• Did Juan Pablo really tell the producers that he had a surprise planned for the After The Final Rose segment? What was the alleged surprise?
• On a scale of 1-10, how much did Chris Harrison want to punch Juan Pablo?
• On a scale of 1-10, how much did viewers want Chris Harrison to punch Juan Pablo?
• Why was Brooks there and what product does he use in his hair?

Look at Brooks' flowing locks. That's a nice head of hair. (image source)

Most of those questions were answered for me by Reality Steve. But, bigger questions about love, life and humanity remain unanswered for me. Perhaps the biggest question of all is why Nikki Ferrell allowed herself to be minimalized and demeaned, repeatedly. Maybe she could get over the fact that her supposed BFF, Andi Dorfman thinks Juan Pablo is total scum. Maybe she could get over the fact that Juan Pablo slept with her arch-nemesis, Clare Crawley, days before sleeping with her...and that he really enjoyed it (he made no secret of that). But, I'm having a hard time understanding how she got over his inability to say a single kind thing about her or about their relationship with the weak exceptions of "I like you a lot" and "we're happy".

Rumor has it that Juan Pablo actually loves Nikki and he's told her so and his bit on the ATFR was intended as a big "suck it" to ABC. Fine. I'll buy that. It's no mystery that ABC and their Bachelor had a significant falling out around the time that he made those awful homophobic comments. But, even if Juan Pablo's performance on Monday night was completely choreographed to be the final blow to a very salty relationship with the show's producers, it was done at Nikki's expense. He proved his point and she looked like a total fool as a result. That's not the stuff that long-lasting relationships are made of.

If you haven't seen it, there's is a YouTube video that Juan Pablo, himself, posted for Nikki. Because a montage of photos set to music makes everything better. Who knows, maybe it does. CLICK HERE to watch.

image source: Juan Pablo Galavais YouTube channel

What did you think about the finale? What would you say to Nikki Ferrell if you could (and she cared)? Will you watch Andi as the next Bachelorette?

Xtina, Bodhi and the Kardashian Trio

It's Friday, so let's keep it light.  How about a week in review of celeb baby news?  Let's do it.

For starters - Xtina is preggers again!!  This is definitely worthy of the double exclamation point.  Her son, Max, with her ex-hubby is already 6-years-old.  So, she hasn't done this in a while.  It's certainly a sprinkle appropriate occasion, although I think celebs have a full blown baby shower for every baby.  Just one of the many ways that the rules don't seem to apply to them.      

Megan Fox and David Silver welcomed their second son, Bodhi Ransom.  Not long ago, I told you that I was excited for all these celebs who are expecting baby boys.  And this is why.  Hollywood has not been disappointing with boy name choices as of late.  Bodhi is not nutso, but it's unusual.  We're all familiar with the name Bode, thanks to Bode Miller kicking it in Sochi.  Bode and Bodhi are different spellings of the same name.  And, believe it or not, Bodhi has actually been in the top 1000 US names since 2010.  It's at the bottom of the list, but it's there.  Now Ransom, let's be real - nutso.  I mean, not completely and utterly nutso, but standard nutso.  It was actually popular at the turn of the 19th century (circa 1915), making this name a mashup of modern and vintage.  I love it, in a I-would-never-name-my-kid-this-name kind of way.

The real star of the real Beverly Hills 90210.
image source

The Kardashian sisterhood announced their baby fashion line.  Yawn.  Jessica Simpson also has a fashion line for everything ever, but she doesn't make such a big deal about it.  Why do they have to announce everything?  Why do they have to be such attention...needers?  I say all this, but then I also On Demand the 2 part episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians when Kanye proposed to Kim.

Thoughts on Christina Aguilera's pregnancy news?  How about the name Bodhi Ransom?  Will you buy clothes from the Kardashian fashion line at Babies R Us?

The Bachelor Got Married (Again)

Last Sunday, Sean Lowe married the winner of his season on The Bachelor, Catherine Guidici.  If you're a fan of The Bachelor, these type of television specials are your Super Bowl equivalent.  If you aren't a fan, these type of television specials probably make you think less of humanity.

Given that I can no longer write about Pregnant in Heels and I've decided to move on from Teen Mom (now as a mother, it feels exceptionally wrong), The Bachelor is my current reality TV fix.  That's right.  I watch every Monday night as Juan Pablo works on his English and tries not to set a bad example for his 4-year-old daughter (something that he says at least a dozen times each episode).  I'm even in a Bachelor fantasy league.  Clare, Andi, Lucy and someone else are on my team.

Anyway, in addition to my weekly Bachelor fix, I upped the ante and watched Sean and Catherine get hitched last Sunday.  I didn't manage to watch the entire program in one sitting and I didn't manage to keep my eyes on the television screen 100% of the time (some moments were too awkward to take head on), but I got through it and I have a few things to say.  I'll try not to be too catty.

First a pic of the newlyweds.

Photo source: Catherine Guidici Instagram

1) How do these hairstylists to the celebrities always F it up?  I'll admit, this isn't the first Bachelor/Bachelorette wedding I've watched (and hopefully it won't be the last).  In every one I've seen, the bride's hair looks like a hot mess.  Unfortunately for Catherine, she was not the exception.

2) Catherine's theme of "grown sexy" was certainly a new one.  The commentary and comedy stemming from it is endless.  I'll make no personal judgment, but I will point you to a quick and awesome moment about said theme.  In the last scene of the special, Chris Harrison attempted to close out with a summary of the tremendous beauty and love we had all just witnessed and included the term "grown sexy".  As soon as the words came out of his mouth, former Bachelorette Ashley Hebert looks at her husband, makes a scrunchy, perplexed face and says "What does that mean?"

3) I'm pretty sure Andy Dick was in attendance.  I swear that I saw live video of him hugging other guests.  Can anyone else confirm this?

4) The credits were accompanied by a shot of the infamous honeymoon suite and sounds of trains, horses and the wild, wild jungle.  Loved it.

4) Per usual, Twitter provided some fabulous commentary:

  

Fact Checking - Baby Style

In celebration and acknowledgement of the upcoming presidential elections, I thought it was fitting to do some fact checking.  No, I'm not going to reveal the truth behind Governor Romney's plan for reforming the federal tax code or expose what really happened at the US Embassy in Syria.  What I will do is throw out some interesting baby facts for us to ponder.  Let's get this party started (click on answers to see the source of my info):


Average weight and length of baby at 40 weeks - 7 lbs 10.08 ounces and 20.16 inches

Original Gerber Baby - Ann Turner Cook

Ann Turner Cook in December 1996

US State with the most births - California

US State with the highest birth rate (number of births compared to number of women) - Utah

Top selling baby toy on Amazon.com - Sophie the Giraffe, obvy

What's So Great About Sophie?

Doctor who delivered the most babies (arguably) - Dr. Walter "Papa Doc" Watson, practice in Augusta, GA, delivered 18,000+ babies, still delivering at age 100

Year that TLC's A Baby Story premiered - 1998

Highest amount of money paid for photo of celebrity baby - $11 million was allegedly paid by People Magazine for photos of Brangelina's twins (Vivienne and Knox)

The Money Shot

Busiest Labor and Delivery Hospital in US (arguably) - Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, TX

Best selling baby book (through 2000) - The Poky Little Puppy

Now in it's 65th edition!!!

Number of children fathered by Eddie Murphy - 8 (Bria, Myles, Shayne, Zola, Bella, Christian, Eric, Angel)

Amount of money Jay Z and Beyonce spent on Swarovski encrusted baby shoes for Blue Ivy - $800

Designed by Ruthie Davis

Is She or Isn't She?

Is Catelynn Lowell pregnant or what? 

A long time ago, I falsely announced (here) that Catelynn Lowell was pregnant, again.  I say falsely because if she had been pregnant way back then she would have certainly had the baby by now.  My announcement was based on Catelynn's MySpace where she, at the time, declared that she was expecting.  To be specific, the "details" section of her myself page said "Children: Expecting".  Here's what the details section of her MySpace page looks like today:

Earlier this year, rumors (not started by me) once against swirled that she was knocked up.  These rumors came to a head in early summer with a cover of In Touch magazine that featured Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra.  The cover declared "I'm Pregnant!"...a statement attributed to Catelynn herself.

Now, I know that In Touch magazine isn't known for its hard journalism, but I would have guessed that fact checking comes into play when a cover and feature article are at issue.  With all the defamation suits that celebs throw around these days, what magazine would put out a cover story with false information?  So my assumption, upon seeing the cover, was that Catelynn Lowell was preggers again.  This time for real.

The plot thickened when Ms. Lowell gave an exclusive interview to US Weekly shortly after the In Touch cover went public.  In that interview she stated that she was NOT pregnant, despite the In Touch cover and article.  And so the pendulum swung back. 

But wait.  In response to Catelynn's interview with US Weekly, In Touch responded with one of those "we stand by our story" statements to the Huffington Post.  It's their story and they're sticking to it.

So, which is it?  Did In Touch get the scoop from a ratty insider or is Catelynn Lowell genuinely waiting for number two until she's a tad bit older?  She's currently 20, if anyone was wondering.

I guess time will tell, again.

I Met Rosie Pope (Part 2)

This being "Part 2", if you haven't read Part 1 you may want to do so first (click here).

I ended Part 1 with my standing in that huge crowd, waiting impatiently for my chance to meet Rosie Pope.  I'm feeling guilty for what's going to be an anti-climatic conclusion, so I'm going to cut to the punch - I never actually shook Rosie's hand or introduced myself...or technically met her.  The damn line was soooo long.  After 30 minutes of eating gummy bears in line and chatting up the pregnant women in front of me and behind me it became clear I wasn't even halfway through the wait.  So, I made up an excuse to get really close, took a haphazard photo (below) and bee lined for the exit.

I got within 15 feet of the Pregnant in Heels hostess, maybe closer.  The girl in the pink, patterned, long dress (blurry) was definitely Rosie's keeper.  She was standing close by while members of the press questioned her with notebooks and microphoned recorders.  You can see in the top right corner there is a person with a camera taking photos of something out of frame.  That something is Daron Pope.  Oddly enough, Rosie and Daron maintained a significant distance for the entire event.

You're probably pretty angry right now - angry that I didn't actually meet her, that I didn't suck it up and just wait in line, that I fraudulently entitled this post (and Tuesday's post) "I Met Rosie Pope".  I'm angry too.  And I'm sorry.  A more honest choice of words would have been "I Almost Met Rosie Pope But I Was Too Bored".  The worst part is that I can't officially confirm or deny her strange accent/lisp/speech impediment because while I got within an earshot, it was so damn noisy I couldn't distinguish her voice from all the others. 

Despite your anger, maybe you still want to read about my thoughts on her maternity line?  

The Rosie Pope for A Pea in the Pod maternity line is full of blazers and blouses.  It has a distinct business woman (with a bump) feel.  It's also expensive for what I would consider reasonable money to spend on maternity clothes.  A woman is pregnant for 9 months and probably only needs maternity clothes for 5-7 of those months.  So, spending a few thousand dollars on a 5-7 month wardrobe isn't a luxury that most ladies can afford, especially considering all of those other looming expenses (strollers, cribs, diapers, etc.).  The least expensive item in Rosie's new collection was a peach blouse for $85.  

I was also struck by the fact that this line isn't all that different (if at all) from the regular Rosie Pope maternity line.  The whole point of the collaboration alluded me.  It wasn't like Vera Wang's collection for Kohl's or Stella McCartney's collection for Target, both of which are highly affordable and stylish collections from designers who made names for themselves by making highly expensive and stylish collections.  

The collection itself is cute and very New York.  I'm not sure it's practical (both in cost and style) for non-professionals.  No need to drop $180 on a maternity pencil skirt if you're not required to wear business attire on a daily basis.  The color palette is black, white and rose, with few exceptions.  The individual pieces are almost all tailored, which I appreciated - just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you have to sport shift dresses and empire waist shirts - but a couple loose fitting items would have been nice.  Not everyone can look like Victoria Beckham through the 9th month.  

This sparkly, black blazer was one of many blazers.  It was cute, had a Chanel vibe.  

This white blouse was one of my favorite pieces.  

It was simple and didn't look maternity to me.  It retailed for $125.

This geometric shirt dress was another favorite.  But for $225?  

I agonize over non-maternity fashion purchases for $225, much less a purchase 

that would realistically fit me for a only few months.

Two parting questions:  Do you forgive me?  Would you buy Rosie Pope's maternity line for A Pea in the Pod?

The Lisping (Mrs.) Pope is Back

Who's been watching the 2nd season of Pregnant in Heels?  A lot of you.  I know this because every Tuesday the traffic on Next Stop Baby skyrockets between the hours of 10 and 11 p.m. as people across America find the need to google the phrase "Rosie Pope speech impediment" (it's still the reigning Stuff People Google champ).  For those who don't know, Next Stop Baby is in the top 3 results on Google if you search this phrase and a lot of people search this phrase, especially when Pregnant in Heels is airing.

Rosie Pope - pregnant again, lisping as always

I myself am guilty of not really watching this season.  I made it through most of last season because I thought it was important to the blog, being baby related and pop culture relevant.  This season I haven't managed a single episode.  I've barely been able to handle a couple minutes here and there.  It's official, I don't like Pregnant in Heels.  And it's not Rosie's speech impediment (or lisp or accent or whatever) that bothers me.  I'm just not into the show.

This past Tuesday was one of the few times I've tuned in for a couple minutes.  I was specifically motivated to check out the episode because I know someone who knows someone who used to date one of the husbands that was featured.  Yes, I'm four degrees from Rosie Pope.  Anyway, I watched for about three minutes.  The first 5 seconds were spent identifying the guy, the next 2 minutes and 55 seconds were spent thinking, "meh".  There were two couples.  The husband in one couple was experiencing pregnancy-like symptoms.  The woman in the other couple was pregnant but hated maternity clothes.  Rosie to the rescue.  I didn't see whether she fulfilled her two very complicated missions of relieving the non-pregnant man's morning sickness and finding maternity clothes that satisfied the fashion sensitive mama-to-be, but I assume that's exactly what happened.

For an admittedly baby crazy individual, it would seem that Pregnant in Heels would be right in my wheelhouse.  But, again, it's not.  It's just not.  Maybe it's too formulaic for me?  Can't be.  The Cutting Edge is one of my top favorite movies of all time and arguably the most formulaic movie of all time.  Maybe it really is Rosie's lisp?  No.  I just don't find it that bothersome.  It's more comical than anything and slightly endearing.  Plus, I'm obsessed with the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Ever heard Teresa Giudice pronounce cumin?

I hear Teresa Giudice (above) uses a lot of "ingredientses" in her cookbook

I think it's the lack of drama.  Teresa Guidice flipping a table, that's drama.  A husband faking having pregnancy symptoms, that's annoying and kind of boring.  A woman who doesn't like maternity clothes - who cares?  I mean...snooze fest, right?  I say right.  But, clearly you say WRONG because you're all watching, ever Tuesday on Bravo.

So, please, tell me - WHY do you love Pregnant in Heels?  Why?!

Meathole of the Week: Amber Portwood

Who remembers the movie Ernest Goes to Jail?  I do.  Sort of.  I don't remember the plot or really anything about the movie other than the title and the lead actor.  For those who need a refresher, it came out in 1990 and was a sequel of sorts to Ernest Goes to Camp.  Jim Varney played Ernest in both. 

What's the segway?  Well, much like Ernest went to Jail in 1990, Teen Mom's Amber Portwood is heading to jail in 2012.  She will be the little darling of the Indiana Department of Corrections for the next five years.  And, as the title of this posts suggests, she will also be the Meathole of the Week on Next Stop Baby.  That's right, I'm bring back the Meathole of the Week because the original post (here) was so darn popular.  Speaking of, I almost made Ms. Hilary Duff a two time Meathole winner thanks to more annoying comments she recently made about how she's a genius at changing diapers and her son's a genius for rolling over.  Irkity Irk.

Back to Amber.  Whatever we think about shows like Jersey Shore and Teen Mom, we can begrudgingly concede that the cast members make bank.  Yes they earn that money by acting like the lowest common denominator, but I think it's safe to say that a portion of that grotesque behavior is choreographed (intentionally or subconsciously) for the cameras.  Crazy sells.  So, I don't fault Amber for viciously arguing with her child's father on camera or generally making us gasp at her lack of parenting skills.  She's paid to do that, sort of.  And Mama Amber's not bringing home the bacon in any other discernible way. 

Where the problem lies is in her need to repeatedly break the law.  Amber is to Teen Mom what Angelina is was to Jersey Shore.  Angelina couldn't suck up the fact that she hated all the other guido punks for just a few weeks out of the year to set herself up financially for life (or at least a couple decades).  Amber couldn't subdue her desire to abuse drugs and physically assault people for the sake of her daughter, much less for the sake of a pay check.

Weird

In second thought, maybe Angelina is the true Meathole because she's just a loud mouthed pain in the ass, where as Amber has a clinical drug addiction.  Either way, both girls have successfully dumped their cash cows in the garbage.  And, in Amber's case, she dumped her daughter in the hands whoever is legally able to care for her while she spends half a decade sporting an orange jumper and trying not to drop the soap.

But wait, some of you are thinking - forget Angelina, those soulless producers over at MTV are the true Meatholes.  On some level the old, wise adults at MTV knew exactly the type of teenage time bomb they cast as a Teen Mom.  You're thinking that the MTV staff has taken their formulaic television programming to a disgusting new level by supplying underage, drug addicted, anger unmanaged mothers with more than enough dough to feed all of their gnarly habits (and not their kids).  I hear ya, but I won't subscribe to this perspective until I'm given convincing evidence that, on top of all that cold hard cash, MTV also provides free access to drugs and weapons for all its teen mothers.  I don't think MTV can be blamed when there are plenty of young ladies on Teen Mom that did the opposite of Amber and got their shit together (relatively speaking).

Nothing like a good Meathole discussion to kick off your Tuesday.  What's your take?

Consideration and Deliberation of 2011's Most Popular Baby Names

Today's post title is hardcore (read: long).  If you've read prior baby name posts on NSB you've come to know that I get hardcore about the subject.

For starters, thanks to fabulous comment from Amy in a post from last week (here), I now know that the Social Security Administration posts the most popular baby names from the prior year on the Friday before Mother's Day.  I knew it was an annual occurrence, but I didn't know there was a precise date.  I had thought it was just a random day in May.  Not so.  There is a sentimental method to the madness.

Next, let's get down to business and discuss 2011's most popular baby names.  I'll start with some interesting notes on specific names, girls first.

• Aubrey/Aubree - Both versions of this girl name gained noteworthy popularity last year.  Aubrey broke into the Top 20 and Aubree jumped from 223 to 99.
• Avery - As I predicted (more on that later in the week), the popularity of Avery continues to rise.  She jumped 5 significant spots from 23 to 18.
• Briella - This name jumped 394 spots from 2010 (#891) to 2011 (#497).  Not only that, but 2010 was the first time Briella was even in the Top 1,000.  She jolted from not listed to Top 500 in 2 years flat.  Impressive.  My previous (here) and current theory on the sudden popularity of Briella is also known as the Jersylicious Effect.  Jerseylicious is another trashy, fabulous reality TV show that stars, amongst many, Briella Calafiore.  Ms. Calafiore's mom must feel like an innovator.
• Brisa - She fell the most spots of any girl name, sliding from 464 to 807.  It's a relatively common name amongst Latino families, but can't seem to hit it's stride in the US of A. 
• Sophia/Sofia - As if Sophia overtaking Isabella for the #1 spot wasn't enough, Sophia's less popular twin sister (Sofia) broke into the Top 20.  I don't think this name (either version) is going anywhere anytime soon.

Briella Calafiore.  Jerseylicious.

Now the boys.

• Benjamin - It may be hard to believe, but this boy name has never been this popular.  It broke into the Top 20 for the first time. 
• Brett - Bye, bye Brett.  Much like the career of Brett Favre, this name's hay day has passed.  It went down a whopping 119 spots in a year from 389 (2010) to 508 (2011).
• Joseph - Perhaps one of the most significant changes to the Top 1,000 boy name list was the movement of Joseph.  He is officially out of the Top 20 for the first time in the history of the SSA keeping tabs on this stuff. 
• Liam - It's the shorter (if we're counting letters), Irish brother of William and it's yet another name that broke into the Top 20 for the first time in 2011.  Liam has been on the rise since the mid 1990s and after becoming a popular choice for celeb baby boys (i.e. Liam McDermott, Liam Costner, Liam Stewart), I imagine it will maintain it's stronghold for years to come. 
• Mason - Well hello there fella.  A mere 15 years prior, Mason hadn't even broken the Top 100 and now he's Number 2.  Nearly 1% of all little boys were named Mason in 2011.  Can we blame credit Kourtney Kardashian for this trend?
• Brantley - This is the biggest mover and shaker of the 2011 boy names list.  Brantley jumped from 736 in 2010 to 320 in 2011 (that's 416 spots).  Brantley Gilbert could be the reason...possibly, maybe.  He's a country music singer/songwriter who released his first songs and music videos in 2010 and also made headlines for surviving a messy DUI.

Brantley Gilbert.  Countrylicious.

When it comes to girls versus boys, there isn't much to report.  The characteristic differences between these groups seem to have held true in the last year.  For example, in 2011, like every year prior that I cared to run the math on, a significantly larger percentage of boys (% 43.77) were given a Top 100 boy names than were girls (% 31.12) given a Top 100 girl name.  This means that it is (and has always been) more likely that your son will share the same name as his bestie than will your daughter.  On the other hand, the Top 5 girl names held strong with only slight jockeying between the ranks while the Top 5 boy names lost Ethan and Michael and gained Noah and Mason.     

Did you have a chance to peruse the SSA website and see if you're favorite baby name(s) were on any of the Top lists?  Any trends that you're seeing so far in 2012?  Do you get as excited over baby names as I do?

Pregzilla Anyone?

I'm contacted by many a random website owner/product pusher at the Next Stop Baby email address (nextstopbabyblog@gmail.com).  Several times a week someone asks me to promote a cause on Next Stop Baby.  I pretty much never oblige.  I'm not a snob, I'm a preservationist.  I want Next Stop Baby to be about products, website and (mostly) thoughts that authentically strike me in my daily life.

I was emailed two days ago with one of these standard requests to pass along information to you, my beloved readers.  Right off, I was annoyed because the emailer called me a "Mommy Blogger".  You and I know that I'm not a mommy blogger, but I decided to continue reading.  Despite the introductory faux pas, the content of the email was interesting enough that I couldn't just blow it off.  One can't break an unwritten rule without serious consideration.  So that's what I did and after about 4 minutes I had made my decision.  I'm sure you'll understand why.

She also called me a mommy when she signed off.
She is clearly NOT an NSB reader.

The emailer is affiliated with a reality television casting company and she's working on an upcoming show: Pregzilla.  That's right, Pregzilla.  You understand my extremely quick decision to pass along the good word, yes?

I'm a reality show addict.  I don't waste my time calling it a guilty pleasure because I'm not guilty about it. You know that I've written about Teen Mom several times (here, here and here) and referenced the Real Housewives (here and here).

I'm an urban dictionary addict and "pregzilla" is a defined term (here).

I found a t-shirt with the
Urban Dictionary definition of Pregzilla
(from zazzle.com)

I'm a Pregnant in Heels addict critic.  My posts about Rosie Pope and Pregnant in Heels have been reigning fan favorites.  I envision Pregzilla as being a direct competitor of Pregnant in Heels (aka more fodder for NSB).

The sum of all this meant I had to share the casting information.  I would freak out if a Next Stop Baby reader applied for the show and made it to any of the casting rounds, much less onto the show.  So, if you're interested or know anyone that would be the info is below and keep me posted!!!  Look out Rosie Pope, Pregzilla is on the way.

Now casting the humorous and crazy side of pregnancy! 

EXPECTING MOTHERS: You thought PMS was bad, but this just got a whole lot worse! Are you losing your mind? Hormones running amok? Freaking out over the littlest things? Are you making yourself and everyone else around you nuts and using your pregnancy as the excuse?

This is your pregnancy and you need to be treated like a queen! Let's face it, you're never going to have a better excuse to act up, diva out, regress to childhood, and take command as the queen!

SIGNIFICANT OTHERS:  Do you not recognize the woman you fell in love with?  Are you feeling more and more like an alien took over her body and turned her into an emotional monster?  This is your chance to have fun with the fact that your lady has gone off the rails.  

Looking for both expecting mothers and significant others to participate and share with us the comic drama that surrounds wild ride of pregnancy.  

Doron Ofir Casting, the star-making casting company behind Jersey Shore, Millionaire Matchmaker, My Strange Addiction and RuPaul's DragRace, is now casting pregnant mothers who are loud and proud pregzillas! If you or someone you know qualifies, please apply now!

If you and your significant other are currently expecting and appear to be between the ages of 21-35, you could be eligible to star in a new exciting series that celebrates the roller coaster ride of pregnancy. 

This is your opportunity to express yourself and tell the world what you've been going through. Vent, complain, brag, show off...and get the ultimate travelogue of your journey to parenthood. 

If selected, you will receive an episodic stipend of $5,000.00

To apply, please visit www.pregzillascasting.com and fill out the digital application. 

Pregnant in Heels...Again

She's back.  Our favorite lisping (or regular speaking...depends who you ask) British pregnancy guru is coming back to Bravo for another season.

If you don't watch Bravo during every spare second of your day then you might not have seen the new commercial for Season 2 of Pregnant in Heels.  No fear, head to the Bravo website (here) to check out the details of the new season that will start on May 15.

After visiting Bravo.com, head to Hulu.com
to rewatch the SNL spoof from last year 

And you can check out all my old posts on Rosie Pope at the links below:

Your Burning Rosie Pope Questions

Rosie Pope Said...Wha???

Slightly Scared of Pregnant in Heels

Reality Stars Do Pregnancy

Has anyone else noticed that reality TV stars are getting knocked up left and right?  Why?  I have two theories.  My first theory is that the pregnancy-is-so-hot-right-now trend is having a trickle down effect from the A list stars to the non-A list stars.  If Angie does it, it's cool.  And, by now, she's done it twice.  My second theory is that someone at MTV realized that the excessive drinking, hair pulling and grammatically incorrect sentence forming is losing it's allure.  Then someone at E! realized it...someone at Bravo...and so on.  Regardless of WHY, it's become clear that Gym, Tan, Laundry is being replaced by Unprotected Sex, Preggers, Baby. 

Today, I'm going to pretend to be Perez Hilton before he got all politically correct following a tongue lashing by Jennifer Aniston.  Anyone else remember that?  I'm going to waste a good 10 minutes of your life by dissecting the rampant pregnancy trend infecting affecting D-list Hollywood.

First up, Snooki.  Who was shocked by news of Snooki's pregnancy?  I was.  I really was.  Jersey Shore may not be as epic as it was a mere summer ago, but it still brags a huge following.  So huge that MTV has developed 2 spin off series, one with Pauly D (The Pauly D Project) and one with Snooki and J Woww (untitled at the moment).  Now, as I just hypothesized, maybe MTV (or Snooki herself) anticipated the Jersey Shore audience wanting something more than episode after episode of black out drinking and fist pumping at Karma.  Maybe a new generation of hair gel abusers is just the ticket.  But, if not, Snooki has just given up her cash cow for a money hungry baby.  She can't exactly head back to the Shore this summer while 7 months pregnant.  And, I don't think The Situation would approve of a Baby Snooks sleeping in a pack-n-play in the Smoosh Room.

via UsMagazine.com

Kristin Cavallari, former Laguna Beach and Hills star, is also pregnant.  Like the Snooki news, this announcement was quite the curve ball.  Just last year Ms. Cavallari had ended her engagement to Jay Cutler and was accused of scamming for cocaine all day, every day, all the time.  A lot can change in a year.  She announced her pregnancy about a month ago and seems to come up with a new, mind-numbing story to tell People.com on a day-to-day basis about her progress - her cravings, the size of her bump, her prediction that Jay Cutler (aka baby daddy) will be a good father because he's "good with [her] little dog".  I'm starting to think that she got pregnant to stay relevant.

image via UsMagazine.com

Then there's Kourtney Kardashian who's very pregnant with her second.  Unlike Snooki and Kristin, Kourtney's announcement wasn't all that shocking.  But, the timing of her announcement was noteworthy.  Just as the Kim and Kris relationship inferno hell came to a head last fall, WHAM: Kourtney's pregnant.  It felt like Kris Jenner was snapping her fingers at America - look over here, not there, HERE...ignore the Kardashian behind curtain number one...look at the fabulous Kardashian behind door number two!!!  While I avoided using the word "calculated" with Snooki and Kristin (because I don't think it applies), I'm gonna casually throw it out with Kourtney Kardashian.  I don't believe her pregnancy was calculated, but I do think her pregnancy announcement was orchestrated to divert as much negative press away from sister Kim as possible.

image via Celebuzz.com

How did I do?  Could I guest write for Pink is the New Blog? What do you think of all these reality TV ladies and their baby bumps?

Equally Awful

Did you hear that Leah Messer had a miscarriage?  UGH.  Here is the full story from OK! Magazine.

When I heard the sad news I had been ironically working on a post about the fact that Leah Messer was pregnant again.  A cheeky post that went something like this:

If you know I love Teen Mom, you also know that I have mixed opinions about it's overall worth to society.  I've asked the question before (here) and I'll ask it again: is Teen Mom teaching teens about how truly difficult it is to be a teenage mother or is it glamorizing teen pregnancy?  I think, and I could certainly be wrong, that the founding idea behind Teen Mom was to encourage the use of birth control (and celibacy).  I haven't come across any statistics on whether this principal has in fact affected the general teenage population, but when it comes to a specific teenage individual, Leah Messer, we can now say with certainty that the whole importance of birth control message didn't resonate.  She's nineteen and recently announced that she's pregnant, again.

I was actually inspired to write a post about Leah's Messer's pregnancy by one of my favorite NSB followers who emailed this question: why haven't you covered the Leah Messer pregnancy?!  A solid question given my juvenile obsession with the Teen Mom franchise.  Of course it was blog worthy news, but I was biding my time as I searched for my angle.  So, I started the post (above) but couldn't figure out where to take it.  Then, news of the miscarriage hit the internet and my angle found me.

Pregnancy is major.  It can be major good or major...not good.  That's because not all pregnancies occur under ideal terms.  It's easy to think of the married couple in their thirties who get pregnant after thoughtful consideration, financial planning and a month of hot, unprotected sex.  Of course that's not always the case.  Pregnancy can also be the result of a couple teenagers having a one-night, supremely awkward romp session after drinking far too many Natty Ices.

aka Natty Ice

Miscarriage, on the other hand, is pretty much always awful - whether you're sixteen or fifty, a billionaire or poor as hell, ready or not ready.  There is no upside to discovering a pregnancy and then losing that pregnancy.  For a woman whose discovery of pregnancy is major good, loss of that pregnancy is awful.  Totally and utterly devastating.  For a woman whose discovery of pregnancy is major not good, loss of that pregnancy is still awful.  Losing a pregnancy won't erase the emotional turmoil that occurred while the pregnancy existed.  And, even in major not good cases, unexpectedly losing a pregnancy may still provoke sadness.  A loss is still a loss, even if it's accompanied by a sense of relief.

Upon hearing news of the miscarriage, my heart hurt for Ms. Messer, even if she did ignore the good word of Dr. Drew.

A Moment for Giuliana

Today is something different.  It's not an anecdote about why babies scare me or something gross I learned about childbirth.  It's not a baby shower theme or gift idea.  It's not about nursery decor or trendy baby clothes.  And it's not a weird phrase that someone googled.

Today is my non-witty, non-fluffy, non-weird post for Giuliana Rancic.  While I don't believe Mrs. Rancic is a follower of Next Stop Baby, Next Stop Baby is a follower of hers and I was very touched as I watched her on yesterday's Today Show.  I (and everyone else) was expecting her to announce that she was pregnant with her first and long-awaited baby.  Instead, she told Ann Curry that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer and won't be able to pursue her dream of motherhood until she undergoes 6 weeks of radiation therapy and recovery.

You know I'm obsessed with reality television and all things celebrity gossip, so it should be no surprise that I'm a big fan of Giuliana's reporting on E! News, her Fashion Police quips and her reality show on The Style Network.  She's a class act.  As she navigates the less than exciting adventures of IVF and the more than annoying monologues of Ryan Seacrest, she always remains spirited and endearing.  I have no doubt that she'll maintain that poise through this new challenge and find her way to a speedy recovery.  I wish her all the best as she does.

Did you see the announcement?  What did you think?  Click HERE for a link to the 6 minute clip of her interview with Ann Curry.