Motherhood

My favorite southern belle, Ella Mae, is the guest blogger behind this fabulous post.  It is a poignant (and funny!) story about the question of whether one wants to be a mother at all.  I am so excited that Ella Mae has joined the Next Stop - Baby blog family and hope that she will write again for us...soon.  Maybe a little Mint Julep will assist in the encouraging?

I remember it like it was yesterday, sitting at my desk in Mrs. Kramer's 4th grade classroom.  We had to write down our future and then read it out loud.  My paper read, "I will be an actress living in New York City.  I will be married with no children."  The fragile boned boy who sat across from me said, "You're not going to have any kids?  That's weird!"

You see, I've never been cut out for motherhood.  I'm a daydreamer, a relaxer, someone who loves "Me" time.  Like my Father, I've been known to have a short fuse.  I don't like sports.  What if my child wanted to play a lot of sports?  Even worse, what if they were winter sports?  I hate the cold, anything below 60 degrees borders on unbearable.  I don't have an artistic bone in my body, so I would be virtually useless at helping out with elaborate school projects.  Lastly, I'm a terrible driver.  In fact I prefer not to if possible.  I would be that woman that all of the other mothers talk about for not taking a turn in the carpool group and for always being absent at PTA meetings.

The funny thing is I consider myself a mother.  Six years ago my now husband gave me the best birthday present I could imagine.  Charlotte, a small white Chihuahua with huge ears.  She's the most perfect 'baby' possible.  She doesn't get runny noses or talk back or leave toys lying around.  She loves to go for walks and I never have to be on "diaper duty."  However, on a beautiful September night this past fall while I was at the author of this very blog's wedding, my throat started to close, tears formed in my eyes and I felt a dull ache in my stomach as I watched the Mother and Son dance.  I could practically feel the bond and love between the two of them.  All of a sudden, I wanted to flash forward 30 years and be dancing with my son at his wedding.  It was then that I knew deep within my heart, someday, Charlotte is going to be a big sister.

By Ella Mae