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I smell a stage mom who's concerned about her fetus' potential for beauty pageant stardom.

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A Parent's Halloween Costume Duty

With Halloween around the corner (32 days away!), it's definitely time to start considering this year's costume.  I participated in a serious brainstorming session of my own this past weekend and I'm quite pleased with the front runner.  The pressure is on this year in light of the poor showing I've made in recent times.  My 2009 get-up as bottle of ketchup was followed by my 2010 failure to have any costume at all.  If you're thinking that the bottle of ketchup bit was cute and unusual, think again.  I found it on the floor of a Walmart at around 3 p.m. on Halloween day.  The red, pointy hat was missing and it had a foot print across the torso.  

I firmly believe that every man and woman should choose his or her own Halloween costume.  Forcing a child or significant other to wear something that he or she is simply not comfortable in works against the spirit of Halloween.  Ever seen a pink bunny costume on painfully sad little boy?  I have.  It's painful and sad.  The only exception to this rule goes to non-verbal family members.  Until language kicks in, it's the distinct responsibility of the parent to decide the child's costume and aptly execute such decision.  In comes Etsy.  Below are three Etsy inspired Halloween costumes for mini family members.  Each costs $30 or less for the entire costume.

HARRY OR HARRIETTA POTTER JR. ($22.95)

Gryffindor onesie by Mud in my Blood ($10.95)

Harry Potter costume eye glasses by Amazon.com ($12)

KITTEN IN THE HAT ($25-$30)

Cat in the Hat onesie by Crazy Crafts by Rebasheba ($15) 

The Cat in the Hat's hat from Amazon.com ($10-15)

HUMAN FOOTBALL ($19)

Crocheted football hat by Craft World ($10)

Plain brown onesie by Frenchy Baby Organics ($9)

I Must Know (Almost) Everything

I've made it no secret that I'm not interested in knowing too many details about pregnancy and childbirth before I'm actually pregnant (read more here).  I don't feel like preemptively mourning over the long list of "do nots" or preemptively gagging myself to sleep over the long list of supremely gross details.  The day will come, I will buy the books and consult with doctors.  But, for now I'm all set.  I'm not rude when such topics arise in conversation, but I tend to exist stage left as soon as politely possible.

Turns out my somewhat stuffy attitude about pregnancy doesn't quite work.  Well, it works in the sense that I can certainly avoid the information.  It doesn't work in the sense that I actually need to know some of the information even being a non-pregnant lady.  With so many of my friends being pregnant and trying to be pregnant, avoiding the details sort of means avoiding my friends.  The subjects of ovulation tests, good soft cheeses versus bad soft cheeses and breastfeeding come up fairly regularly.  If I faked a bathroom break every time I heard the word nipple and mucus in the same sentence my hands would be raw from all that scrubbing.  What's more is that in order to actually participate in the conversation and not just smile and nod, I have to know a bit.  Asking relevant questions not only prevents me from looking like a jackhole, but it also moves the conversation along more quickly.

Then there's the other, newly discovered and major reason that I need to know some stuff - emergencies.  A good friend of mine developed preeclampsia or had preeclampsia or almost had preeclampsia (I still don't know for sure) at the tail end of her pregnancy.  When I was first given the news I almost burst into tears, assuming it was some sort of worst case scenario.  The word "preclampsia" didn't scream light and fluffy to me.  With a little more information I was relieved to find out it's a common enough condition, it was manageable in my friend's case and both mom and baby were just fine.  But, initially not knowing anything about it was a huge handicap.

This is a clamp.  It has nothing to do
with preeclampsia, but I didn't know
that at the time.  No, I didn't assume that
this tool was directly related to the
medical condition but this is vaguely the image
the popped into my head upon
hearing the news - not light and fluffy.

So, a little over five months after writing my lovely post entitled The Things I Don't (Want to) Know, I'm changing my mind.  I refuse to make a full 180 degree swing toward I Must Know Everything, but I've found that absorbing a few details here and there is necessary to be a good friend both in conversation and in emergencies.  And, I can now admit, some of the stuff is interesting and even fun.

Shower Like the Duggars

Traditionally, a mother got one baby shower for her first born.  By one I mean one.  Not two or three baby showers for one baby and no baby showers for younger siblings.  The third, forth and nineteenth baby (if you're the Duggars) didn't get a baby shower.

Josie, the youngest Duggar baby,
was born on December 10, 2009
weighing on 2 pounds and 9 ounces
because she was fifteen weeks premature.

Nowadays that's just not true.  Multiple baby showers are allowed.  Baby showers for a second, third or nineteenth child are allowed.  Of course some people remain traditionalists - in life and in baby showers - but you can't please everyone.  And, when it comes to throwing a baby shower, isn't the goal to please the mom-to-be?  That's certainly a good reason to break tradition.

If you're feeling a little uneasy about coloring outside the lines, here are some modern rules that you can preach if someone gives you lip:

The Firsts Rule - Is their something original about this baby-to-be?  It's the first boy/girl of the family?  Is this the first baby with this partner?  Is this baby the first...in a long, long time (aka a significant number of year's after his or her other siblings)?

Victoria Beckham had a baby shower for 

Harper Seven Beckham, her first girl 

after having three boys.  

Who knew Posh could be so silly?  

She's the third mummy (get it?) from the left.

The Multiples Rule - Is the mom expecting twins or triplets...or something more?  Even if a sibling exists, having multiple babies at once is a major and unexpected (usually) financial undertaking.  A few small gifts could make a big difference.

The Disaster Relief Rule - Has the expecting mother just gone through some disaster that makes her in need of a little extra emotional and material support?  For example, she or her partner lost a job or have a life threatening illness.  Or, an actual natural disaster took out the family home.  Helping friends in need is about as traditional as it gets.

Happy baby showering.

Doula Who...la?

The word doula is pretty new to me.  I heard it for the first time several months ago and now it seems to be everywhere.  Doula, doula, doula.  Everywhere.  You can follow doulas on twitter.  There are eharmony-esque websites that connect families to doulas like doulamatch.net and doulas.com.  A recent episode of The Rachel Zoe Project featured Ms. Zoe meeting with a doula to discuss her birth plan, a true sign that doulas are in fashion.  Rodger calls the doula a scam.  Seriously.  Click here to see a clip of the highly awkward meeting.

Rodger Berman (aka Mr. Rachel Zoe). What a goofy picture.  
A bit of trivia: Rodger had the Bieber coif before Bieber.

I'll back up.  What is a doula?  A doula is someone who provides emotional and physical support to a pregnant woman during labor, delivery and sometimes postpartum.  The emotional support is anything from encouraging words to visualization guidance to unity screaming.  Okay, I made that last one up, but you can imagine a doula and a pregnant lady screaming in unison as the pregnant lady pushes.  Ahhhhh!  Ahhhhh!  The physical support is anything from massage to aromatherapy.  A doula also provides educational information.  Postpartum support includes breastfeeding and general newborn assistance.

What is not a doula?  Someone who provides medial support to a pregnant woman.  A doula does not do sonograms or physical examinations.  That clinical stuff is left to the licensed and trained professionals.  Doulas, on the other hand, don't necessarily have any license or training.  Many countries have no regulations or standards for doulas (aka anyone can call herself a doula).  Though, nowadays most doulas are in fact trained.

George Clooney is neither a doctor nor doula.  

Most importantly, why are doulas so hot right now?  From my outsider perspective, I sort of envision doulas to be like pregnancy therapists.  People seek guidance from therapists for all sorts of stressful issues and stressful patches of life.  Pregnancy and childbirth are not just about the clinical stuff.  There is an overwhelming amount of emotional and physical change that has nothing to do with the clinical stuff. That is a doula's wheelhouse.  Doulas empower pregnant women to have a positive and awesome experience by helping with the stressful stuff.  

Have you ever used a doula?  Do you plan to?  Are you a doula and feel like dropping some knowledge?